| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: I had a hard time breaking up with my fiance last week, and felt guilty and gave in and stayed with him. Would it be horrible to break up with him by text messaging while he is in Florida for two months for vacation? I feel like that's the only way I can do it and it will be good since we'll be apart for a long time anyway.
View related questions:
fiance, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (5 February 2007):
 Have you come to a decison yet? If so what did you do about this situation?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2007): don't do it by text! i was dumbed by text! it caused alot of confusion & "WHY" questions ... unanswered questions. it was very HURTFUL! breaking up by text, SMS is very cruel! he won't be able to move on. don't be so selfish .. think about his feelings, too. i know it hurts both ways, but please don't do it by text. if you do, you're a coward! tough up & do it in person.
atleast call him up or talk to him face to face. be prepared to give him answers so he can have some CLOSURE after the break up.
wouldn't you want to leave on good terms???
...............................
A
female
reader, willywombat +, writes (30 January 2007):
I think he will already be half expecting this anyway. You tried to break up with him before he went away so your feelings have obviously changed towards him. I know many of the Aunt's and Uncle's on here say wait and do it face to face or AND normally this is what i would advocate, BUT in this case I think you want to move your life on. I agree that it is not the nicest thing to do, or can be considered cowardly....but.....
It is not very respectful to break up with someone by text, phone or email, but in this case I think you should do it. I will tell you why. It gives you two months in which the pair of you can move on and 'get over' this relationship without bumping into each other and you making decisons that a week later you regret. It also gives him two months in a different place in which to get over you. I would not in this case advocate waiting til he got back -- normally I would out of respect -- but this time my gut instinct says do it. Get itover with.
But please do it over the phone and not by text or email. If you make up your mind to do it then also STICK TO YOUR GUNS, don't be persuaded to go back on your decision out of guilt.
Good luck.
xx
...............................
A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (30 January 2007):
 As someone who's been dumped by text message don't do it. It's cruel and heartless.
CD
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2007): I agree, phone him, an e-mail or text will be awful!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2007): At least tell him on the phone, text messages and emails are for emotional cowards. This is a guy you must have at one point really cared for, you were going to marry, he isn't just a nobody.
It will be better for him, because he will know you still respect him and it will be better for you, because it's a great feeling to know you done something in the right way.
Do it over text or email and you will really mess with his head, I'm sure he hasn't done anything so bad that he deserves months / years of wondering why someone could break up with him so harshly. You'd basically be showing him that he wasn't even worth a phonecall.
Also make sure you don't do it during an argument. Do it when your calm and collective. You yourself can walk away and you'll feel better knowing you did it amicably.
All the best :)
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2007): If you want to break up with him while he is gone, then phone him and talk to him....it is very indecent of you to break an engagement or any relationship with an e-mail or a text....what a cowardly, hurtful thing to do.
You have the right of course to end your relationship, but leave the guys dignity in tact, have some respect for his feelings, not just your own...I know it is never pleasant to be the dumper either, but you have the chance to build some character and class by the way you handle it.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2007): Don't do it by text message. That is just cruel. But, if you are ready to break up with him, than go ahead. But, at least do it on the phone not in a text. Good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, Jendorset +, writes (30 January 2007):
Well i would say wait till he gets back. BUT as hes away for 2 months, break up with him as soon as you can. Hes more likely to get over it on holiday than stuck at home. Tell him now so he can have a holiday romance with some other girl and get over it.
...............................
|
