A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi! I would just like to ask your opinion, my ex boyfriend and I broke up after 4 years together. Sometimes I dont understand his behaviour. I would just like to know what are the effects of a man who has grown up without a mother since 7 yrs old coz the mother has to work in another country, and when he was 19, his mother died of cancer. What are the effects to a man who does not have a mother present almost all his life. He is now 25 yrs old.
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male
reader, TimmD +, writes (14 July 2010):
 All of those things you learn from a mother. A mother loves you and nurtures you and also gives you praise and makes you feel better about yourself. We learn not necessarily by being taught, but by how we are treated. I will say with certainty that this is a huge reason why your ex is the way he is. And unfortunately, he is who he is now. There's no real way to change him.
You either accept who he is and how he acts, and MAYBE get him to change small, subtle things over time.... or you just move on to somebody who is able to show you the love you need.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWhat i don't understand is that he is not affectionate or thoughtful. He can only express himself when we make love. I know he loved me, and asked to marry me for 2 years but i was just not yet ready. His self esteem is also low, he is easily discouraged.
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A
male
reader, TimmD +, writes (14 July 2010):
A lot of people will try to tell you that single parents can raise a child just as good as a conventional marriage, but in reality... that is not true. Yes, it is possible for single parents to raise their child well, and for their kids to turn out good. But from a fundamental level a child needs both a mother and a father for multiple, and different reasons.
Yes, not having a mother all of these years and having the childhood he had definitely could be explaining his behavior. Commitment issues are a big symptom of lacking a mother (or motherly figure). Having trouble being close to someone (intimacy) is another. Unfortunately, everybody is different and will show different signs, but yes... it does effect people negatively.
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