A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My cousin and I went out drinking together, alone. We are both in our early 20s (he is slightly older and I have always looked up to him). We got utterly smashed and some of the night is hazy, but I'm almost positive I remember everything (I never black out). So while I'm sure we didn't hook up in any sense of the word, I do distinctly remember at one point holding hands and kind of caressing each others' palms with our fingers. I probably sound really young/innocent to be reading so much into hand holding, even though I'm neither a virgin nor a child, but:A) THAT particular kind of hand holding (with palm-caressing) is one I've always reserved for people I am sexually/romantically interested/involved in...I wouldn't do it with a platonic friend, or a child whose hand I was holding, for example.B) He's my cousin, not some random man. I feel weird. At the time it seemed normal and fine, even good, but when I woke up the next day I thought "what the hell?"I don't know...I don't want a relationship or hookup with him because he's my cousin, but now I'm wondering if there are subconscious feelings on either/both of our parts. Am I reading too much into it? If not, how can I snap out of it? Sorry if this creeps some people out, I'm not a hillbilly, but for obvious reasons I can't go to my friends for advice about this.
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female
reader, BettyBoup  +, writes (24 March 2010):
 I'd say, try not to read too much into it and just forget about it. Nothing wrong or out of order happened. Its not actually illegal for cousins to be romantically involved in many countries. But, for obvious reasons, its morally and ethically innappropriate to many people. It may be that you have subcouncious feeling for each other in the freudian sense, and it happens! People aren't always in control of how their subconscious feels and thinks. Sonetimes feelings pop up from nowhere that seem totally wrong to your moral judgement making conscience(google freuds id, ego and superego). When you're drunk these things can lead you to behave in a way you never would normally.
But fret not. You havnt done anything to feel bad about. When children are young and innocent, they are very affectionate and would do what you did. If you were close a children this could be something to do with that. A retreat back to childhood closeness.
Either way, I dont think its anything to feel bad about. Just chalk it up as 'one of them' and move on with your life.
Hope this helps :)
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