A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My dear friend and I are currently single. He is a big flirt, Has questionable taste in women, very demanding of their time and affection, and then freaks out when he finds out they are or used to be junkies with complicated stds. I am afraid of commitment. I always seem to mess up a good thing with a decent guy. I love to travel, and fortunately have a nice job that allows me the time and money to pursue my interests.When my buddy and I first met there was a strong physical attraction but he was with someone and I recognized him as a soulmate and knew I could not f*ck this up. We became instant friends, know each others families never really went beyond the peck on the cheek or big bear hug.Early this year I ended a sweet relationship because my job relocated me, to this area. My ex did not want to follow me and so we ended it amicably. My buddy helped me get settled and is always the first person I call, in the morning and at night. I think somewhere along the way I might have given him the impression I want to move our friendship up a notch. He is greenlighting everything I don't want him to!I don't!!! I love him but not enough to ruin the one stable relationship in my life...how do I distance myself from him in a way that will not ruin what we have and not Hurt him either? I truly truly love him, and we have always been there for each other, please help me, I haven't spoken to him in a few days and he is worried about me!
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flirt, money, my ex, soulmate, std Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (21 April 2010):
 Why wouldn't you want to be with your "soul mate"? Is it fair for you to monopolize his time when you don't have "honorable intentions".? You both seem pretty young to have so many hangups.
FA
A
male
reader, TimmD +, writes (21 April 2010):
 Well, I think honesty is going to be your best bet here. If he is really your best friend and "soul mate" then he should understand what you tell him. He may not like it, but he should understand.
Yes, there is the chance that he doesn't want to go back to how things were, but you can't control that now. Just be honest.
You also may want to think about whether or not the reason you don't want to take things to the next level is because of your admitted fear of commitment. I've always believed the best and most solid relationships are built on friendship and that you're husband/wife should be your best friend.
Good luck....
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