A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello. Hope you can help me.This is not a relationship question really, more of a work related problem.I have this female manager and for four years we have never seen eye to eye. I know it is because i am always very quiet and shy when she comes in to orbit but that is mainly because i feel intimidated by her. Usually i am happy to laugh and joke with my other work mates but when she is near everything becomes more stilted.The problem is, in my second year i had a major disagreement with her and top management where brought in and because i am sometimes too sensitive i simmered for a long time afterwards and whenever anyone spoke to me about her, i was always abrupt and cool about her.Of course rumours soon got started that i was holding a grudge and hated her. But that is far from the truth. I do respect her, in fact i think she is one of the best in the business, but i cannot help but feel this rumour must have reached her ears at some point. I told everyone quite plainly that no i don't hate her, i only dislike her attitude to me, which is partly my own fault because sometimes the way she speaks to me is patronising and she makes me feel about 2 foot tall but thats me-i have low self confidence to let her make me feel this way.Anyway i guess, what i am asking is, how can i, even now after 4 years of virtually ignoring each other, at least find out if the rumour has ever reached her ears and if it has, how can i tell her that its not true? She is older than me, i am twenty four and she is sixty and she has not just alienated me, but some of the other staff too. In fact most of the staff are quite scathing about her. Even yesterday i heard a terrible piece of gossip and i really wanted to say something in her defence. But if i had i can, even now, hear people asking why i felt sorry for her when she treats me so disdainfully?Anyway i think i have finished. Any answers will be much appreciated. Thanks.
View related questions:
confidence, shy Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, ArmyMedic +, writes (18 April 2009):
 work related problems are very hard to sort out as very job has it's own hierarchy and ways to deal with your superiors.
But in your case if you feel that these rumours have affected your professional relationship, ask her for an appraisal, this is a semi official chat about how she see you as an employee and you also get to say what you think about how you are getting on. In this environment you will be able to bring up the past and mention that a silly rumour has gone round and you can very professionally dismiss it.
I often have appraisal interviews with my soldiers so I can point them on track and also find out what they feel their needs are.
|
