A
female
age
30-35,
*ads
writes:ive recently started seeing someone for about four months now, we have only had sexual intercourse the once. I don't really see him often sometimes not even once a week. but before i started seeing ben* i was seeing someone else for about 8 month it ws never labeled a relationship although i saw him 5 out 7 day a week, had tea with his mum and dad, had sex on regular basis, we were very close and i believe i had developed feelings of love towards daniel*. but throughout the time i was seeing daniel his ex girlfriend would text him and tell him she loved him towards the end of it all daniel was becoming distant i think he was seeing her again ad had been seeing her on and off through the time i was with him. Now im seeing ben and i am comparing every aspect of our relationship. im still thinking about daniel and wanting to be with him. all time i still feel i have feelings for him even four months after we stoppd seeing each other. i dont want to hurt bens feelings either, as far as im aware daniel and his ex are seeing each other again and shes flirting and things with other guys, i need help on what to do about ben and if i should just tell daniel about my feelings?Thanks :)
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female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (23 March 2011):
 hi
your feeling for Daniel will fade with time, i would not go stirring things up again with him by telling him how you feel. he betrayed you. supposing you did get back together with him - would you happily be able to leave what he did in the past? i had the exact same thing happen to me when an ex of mine went back to his ex and dumped me. it takes a LONG time to get over something like that i think, more so for you because you seem to have been very involved with him. 4 months is early days but you WILL get there.
Ben seems like the rebound relationship, very often we will get with someone in the hope that it will get us over the past relationship break up but i think ultimately it is YOUR job to get over it, by thinking carefully about what went wrong and by looking forward to the future without Daniel in it.
i strongly suspect that if you tell Daniel how you feel, and you get back with him, you will not trust him again and you may end up kicking yourself for letting Ben go. why do you not see Ben much? - is it his choice or yours?
xx
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