A
female
age
30-35,
*arianne507
writes:The guy I'm kinda seeing (J) and I have opened things up for the summer because we live over 3000 miles apart. I'm not really liking this open thing but, my ex, (K) recently was talking about a hook up possibility once my new job starts in a couple weeks. The issue is that I cheated on J with K while we were dating and I'm not sure how J will react even though things are open. I broke up with K to be with J and I'm worried about the possibility of this hookup damaging things with J once the summer is over. Also while K would make a good hook up performance wise, I am very petite and one of the issues when I was with K is that he is too big for me to take comfortably. Should I hook up with K or avoid it?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (19 June 2010):
 Why bother with either one of them??? What do you get out of this except getting used by K?? Open relationships are absolutely bad news. They'll erode the trust of a relationship, especially if the "open" thing is temporary.
Ask yourself this question - why is K your "ex"? Why did you break up with him??? Forgive me for sounding rather blunt, but this reminds me of digging around in the trash for a pair of shoes. Forget both of them (J AND K) and find a NEW guy who will love you and want you for his own, and you have no worries about having to open the relationship.
Hopefully, the new guy will be LOCAL. :)
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