A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:This is a problem that I have had for a while now, and there is alot behind it so please if you can, read it and help me or give me some form of advice thanks. I have this friend. He's a best friend to me and likewise I'm a best friend to him, he tells me a lot, except family stuff, but I can't seem to tell him anything. Maybe I'm scared of what he would think. I've known him since August, and we met through my twin cousins on msn. We got chatting and having a laugh. I was meant to meet up with him in september with my mate who he was going out with, but I never managed to meet up so a couple of weeks after I met up with him and her. I completely felt like an utter idiot and was shy most of the day. I have only met up with him 3/4 times and we both can trust each other with our lives. Since we met, his past girlfriends and current girlfriend have all known me and he met them mostly because of me. He has been through alot of emotional problems with them and I have always been in the middle of it all. In October Half term, I came to my senses and realised how much I felt for him. This particular week was emotional for him and ever so painful for me, that I can remember it ever so clearly. Him and his girlfriend had a row and I was in the middle of it. He was so emotionally hurt he said quite a few things that hurt, things like - 'I'm going to go for a never ending walk and then everyone will be better without me, I'm never going to come back and then everyone can forget about me and live their lives.' He went offline and I cried for 7 hours total because I was worried about him. My heart dropped and I couldn't breathe properly. Even after I knew everything was going to be ok I couldn't breathe properly and I was still crying. I left him this really soppy comment on bebo and it kind of hinted that I liked him. Since then I knew I liked him. In January I admitted to my best friends (besides him) that I liked him in that way, they all told me that I should tell him while I could. So one night, I kind of told him. He asked me what was I up to, so I said just thinking. He was asking what about and I answered just love. He thought it was my ex boyfriend. So I said no. Then he asked if it was him. Stupid little me said no. Then he was asking who so I was trying to not say any names so I was like just some twat. (we call each other names as jokes). He replied 'Im a twat' so I said 'Ok, It's you, I'm sorry I don't want this to wreck our friendship'. Then I appeared offline cause I was so scared what the reply was going to be, but I couldn't talk to anyone else so I came back online. He went offline and came back online and I asked 'did you get my last message?' he replied 'What message?' so I was like 'nevermind wasn't important'. Then my friend asked him if he got a message off me saying that it was him. He said 'yeah xD' and she said 'She means it' and he said 'so'. Does that means he don't care ?Then he goes to me 'you do know I'm pulling your leg?' I replied instantly 'no' and then he said 'why do you think its going to wreck our friendship?' I said 'I don't know'. I thought it was going to go somewhere after that, but like I should have known, it didn't. I sometimes get into rants, but when ever I speak to him and I turn out to rant about my past or give my opinion, his msn signs him out or my msn signs me out. Is this a sign ? 'DO NOT TELL HIM ANYTHING'. It seems to be the only way I can talk to people, is by ranting, but my ranting gets interupted, and I don't know how I can talk to him in other ways.A couple of months after that he started dating this girl at my school. I don't particulary like this girl, but they get on really well. I don't trust her, but I've forced myself to be 'nice' only for his sake. He don't know that I don't like her and he won't know :). Now we hardly speak and Since october I have never actually been able to tell him anything. A reason is that I'm scared that what his reaction would be after what people had done to me, he said to me once 'anyone upsets or pisses you off, pisses me off'. And another reason is that I never know what to say or how to say anything to him. here are some questions I ask myself every day - Did I mess it up? Have I left it too late? Are we drifting apart? How come I can't tell him anything? Will there be another chance and how do I take that chance without messing everything up? Can I move on?Please help me or give me some advice. I really want to stay close with him and actually talk to him like he's my best friend :(. Thanks
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bebo , best friend, cousin, move on, msn, my ex, shy Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2009): You are not sure about yourself and it seems like it's a turn off to your friend. Your uncertainty is not a good thing. Maybe it will help to talk with another friend for a perspective on how they feel about you and what you need to work on to be more confident.
After you resolve those issues, then you should be ready to talk to your friend without being so scared of what he thinks.
You need be up front and honest with your friend. Tell him how you really feel and be confident about it.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSorry , I missed this out , and I think it matters too . - We used to talk like everyday , if we didn't speak for like a couple of days , he would always be like ':O Where have you been ??? I've been bored !' . Now we talk like twice a week . :S
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