A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm 20, and i've been talking to this guy for almost a month, and i ended up losing my virginity to him couple days ago, now i'm bleeding non-stop and my stomache hurts.. and i never told him i was a virgin and i feel super bad about it.. and i told him the following day, and he's just like "ya i figured that out" but now he won't talk to me. i dont know what to do, except regret this? i dont know if it's my fault, or if he's mad at me.. i'm not a one night stand girl, but im afraid that's what this was.. and that's not me at all and i haven't been able to stop crying going on for 3 days now..
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2009): Almost every notch on the young male player's bedpost was another girl trying to "get him" with sex.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (8 November 2009):
 Did you post this question? http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-lied-about-my-virginty--can-a.html
Were you trying to 'snag' the guy by having sex with him? Is this guy a player with no interest in dating someone exclusively?
I think that unless you have a good relationship, communication and understanding with the guy you're about to do the most intimate thing two people can do together, there can be all kinds of misunderstanding and it can lead to estrangement.
I guess I need to understand WHY you lied from the get-go to him. What was your motivation?
Sorry things didn't turn out well for you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2009): go see a doctor straight away. If anything is out of the ordinary down there then straight to the doc ok. You can end up very sick.Forget him for a few days and see what happens. If hes gone the let yourself get over him and meet the one you are suppost to be with.two girls have told me they were virgins, but werent. Dont know why they thought I wouldnt know. I think Im ok at it but even Casanova wasnt that good. I found it a bit insulting and lost a bit of respect and trust for them.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2009): It probably has nothing to do with you not telling him that you were not a virgin. He could be ignoring you for any number of reasons.
He might have only been looking for a 1 night stand. Some guys want to have sex with as many women as they can.
He might be looking for someone with more experience. Hey, we all get better with experience, so don't worry about that.
He might have changed his mind about the 2 of you possibility being compatible.
If he knows about you bleeding and the pain, he might be afraid that it was his fault and is afraid of the consequences.
In any case, it appears on the surface that he was probably into it for the sex and not for you as a person or for the relationship. My wife experienced that after she left her first husband when she was 30. A lot of guys were only in it for the sex. The problem is that you don't know it until after you have slept with them.
The first thing is the constant bleeding. Not being a woman or having had sex with a virgin, I have no direct experience with that. However, that sounds like too long to be bleeding and having the stomach pain. You should see your gynecologist in case something is wrong.
Next is the regret. It would be natural to regret it, but it happens. We all make mistakes. You can't change it, so you will have to try to accept that it was possibly just a mistake to have sex with him. You say that you have been talking to him for a month. From that, I assume that you have not actually dated and the sex just sort of happened. The next time, wait until you have been on a few dates to see if the guy is into you for more than just sex. If I misunderstood, then I apologize.
If he did use you for sex, then I'm sorry that your first time had to be that way and not something special. I know this doesn't make you feel any better, but you are not alone. It happens and you will adjust and learn from it. Right now I think the most important thing is to see a doctor about the bleeding and stomach pain.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2009): aowhh look i think your reading too much into the situation.. i think you made a mistake sleeping with someone where there wasnt an established relationship but shit happens.. If you feel in anyway he is looking down on you for being a virgin at the time, well you dont exactly want anything to do with someone who thought you were a cheap tart in the first place do you? Just learn from your mistakes, noone has to know :)
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