A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Will women just come out and say what they want? My wife originally was anti-anal, wouldn't even let me get close. As time has gone on, things have progressed and it was first playing around the outside of her anus, then pinky penetration, then tongue penetration, and now basically the entire finger.She has huge orgasms as we progress and shakes uncontrollably on my finger, not to mention she is not normally very vocal, but all of the sudden she is waking up the neighbors!The thing is I would LOVE to try anal sex, but I do not want to rush her either. I want it to be her desire too. I want her to enjoy it, so I am hesitant. At the same time I am afraid I might be missing her signals. Do you think that if she wants it she will just say it? Something like "I want you to take me in the ......"? or is that too blunt? Should I just take liberties? or ask if we can try anal? or is that too upfront/non-romantic?
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2010): One night when she is hot and horny as you play with her ass just progress slowly. She will probably never tell you to, but if she doesn't want it she will say not to. If you are already using lube with your finger then it will be a little easier, otherwise you may just introduce it and see what she says or how she reacts. If she is fine with that start with your finger get her all worked up and move you penis to her ass, do not put it in just put it at the opening, I am sure you will know right then. If she lets you be very slow and patient and if she tells you to stop then stop. Make sure you have something to clean yourself off with in case you want to continue on with regular sex
A
female
reader, Not My Name  +, writes (30 April 2010):
 It depends on the woman if she would say something or not.
Like your wife I was not in to that and tho my guy had never hit me up for it directly, I knew he had done it in his teens and wanted to again, but I told him he was never getting anywhere near my ass.
He accepted that and never pushed for it, but over time I suppose curiosity got the better of me, and in the end it was me who came right out and asked if we could - much to his shock (and delight) given my previous comments. Thats me tho, I dont have a problem being fwd with him and just saying things directly. Maybe your wife would need to be asked - dunno, you know her best.
I do have to say too it was the most beautiful, sweet, caring, loving, bonding thing I've ever done. If he had of been all sex animal and dirty talk about it, it would have definately detracted from how special it was, ... so umm, I suggest not going that route the first time if she is willing to go there.
If she let's you, in a way it is like giving you her virginity (well anal virginity anyway) and you should be sweet loving and respectful about that imo. Save the horn dog stuff for the next time. :-)
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (30 April 2010):
 A lot of women might find anal sex shameful or disgusting to ask for and just won't ask for it even if they wanted it. It still shocks me how people can be vulnerable enough to have sex with someone, lots of sex, and not be comfortable talking about sex with them. She won't be offended if you just say something like, "honey, I've noticed you seem to like me paying more attention to your anus, and I think it would be really sexy and enjoyable to try anal sex sometime. Would you like to?" Just go for it. The worst that could happen is she says no.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2010): Just tell her you've noticed how much she loves what you're doing already and ask if she'd like to go all the way and have anal. As a woman I wouldn't necessarily say something and ask myself, because I like it when the guy takes the lead but I would want him to ask first at least. I wouldn't just come out and tell him, I'd wait til he asked unless I just really had to have it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2010): I'm not sure if you'll find this relevant, but.. i was never into anal. i down-right refused (just because i was worried about the pain.) and then my bf cuddled up behind me while we were 'petting' and starting "nudging" against me, and we got into things and he asked me if i wanted it, and i said yes.... very simple. You could ask her, bt as you said, you're not sure how she would react to that. There's no harm in talking about it, bt by the fact that you say she used to be very anti-anal, suggests the subject has come up before. It's lovely that you want it to be something she wants! So during whatever you're doing in that area (using ur finger or tongue or whatever) ask her what she wants, ask her if she wants something "bigger"... gud luck!
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A
male
reader, serenity80  +, writes (29 April 2010):
Try and man up about it. When you are next having sex, tell her you what you are going to do "I'm going to put my finger in your ass" and then tell her how it feels "ooh that feels so good" "you make me feel so turned on" and then, if she seems to like it, TELL her "I'm going to put my cock in your anus, I want you so much and I'm going to take your ass". By her NOT disagreeing she has unequivocally agreed to it.
You should do this because you are exhibiting DOMINANCE in the bedroom and women love to be submissive in bed. That's assuming that everything else in the relationship is right and she has a good deep emotional connection with you.
If you do get to have anal with her, when you are cumming, tell her "I'm going to come so deep in your ass" she will love it. Tell her afterwards she's so dirty and that it's your little secret.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2010): I know nobody here knows my wife and what she would say. I am asking more of a question of women in general, would they in general tell their partner if they wanted it?
By liberties, I didn't mean just stick it in, but I could pull out of the vag and rub it around her anus and see how she reacts and proceed as she responds.
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A
female
reader, raiders +, writes (29 April 2010):
 Ask her, she is your wife just ask her. Don't just assume she wants it you are not a mind reader, so just bluntly ask her.
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