Will she come back if I give her space?

A male age 30-35, *rchandlerbing writes:

So there's this girl I go to school with since September. Around December, she was absent from school one day and I called her to make sure she was okay. Then I spoke to her at a school play. By about February, it seemed she just might like me. The little things she did. I would put my hat on her head and she'd wear it the entire period, or this one time I had tickets to another play and she went out of her way to try and go with me - but she canceled the day of. Anyways, my friend, let's call him John, asked her to Prom. She told him she didn't know, that she may already have someone. He tells me. Two days after this, I run into her - let's call her Sarah - and we have lunch together. We're talking about something when she changes the subject to "what's your prom situation?" I give her a look and she says she asks everyone. Not wanting to seem like I have no one, I tell her I was thinking of asking this cheerleader (which I actually was). She then tells me she has no Prom date. Stupid me doesn't make the connection to do anything. Then, somehow it becomes the latest hush-hush gossip at the school that I'm supposed to ask her to Prom. I don't know how she feels about it but I had people coming up to me all the time saying Sarah likes me and to ask her out, but I didn't. I came really close one time when I had lunch with her again. I had asked her to lunch and she kept hovering by a teacher, talking to her, when I went up to her. Even my younger sister, who came up to me, said she thought Sarah liked me because she was nothing but smiles. I asked her what her prom situation was and she said it was a surprise. I thought, at the time, she meant a surprise for me. But apparently someone had told her that someone special was going to ask her - they of course had me in mind. I didn't. Then she had to buy her tickets and tell them who she was going with, so she said yes to someone else who had asked her. Two days after that, I'm feeling desperate, and having heard a rumor that she may already be taken, I threw caution to the wind and asked her. When she said she's already going with someone, I say "I know you are." I don't know why I said that. I was scared and ashamed. Since then, she's been giving me the cold shoulder. I tried to talk to her a week after it happened and, upon trying to help her with her bags, she snaps "I got it!". So I ask her if we can walk. She just stands there. She says she wants to go to her friends. I don't say anything because she seems irritated. She walks off. (It's possible this looked like I was going to ask her out). She then tells my best friend, who she must've known would tell me, after he tells her I'm looking for her that she doesn't know what to say to me anymore. She says that she likes someone else and that people keep budding in. We have a teacher, the kind of teacher who everyone confides in, and she had told me that Sarah had told her that she wanted to go with me but thought I wasn't interested. Now she's telling my best friend she likes someone else? And if she does, why is she still mad at me? Then she tells our teacher that someone special is coming to a performance of ours. Then one of my best female friends was talking to her and Sarah apparently claims there's no one she specifically wanted to go to Prom with except some guy who "turned her down". I don't know. I sent her an e-mail about a week after she did all this and said I know she's been stressed and I wanted to see how she was doing. I said that I'm sorry for having been acting aloof and that I'm here now if she wants someone to listen. She used to always confide in me. But I never heard back. We have the same class together and it's not really that big of a school. But now I've really fallen hard for this girl. But I fear she may have really moved on. But why is she still avoiding eye contact with me and not making any effort to have any sort of relationship with me? Did I hurt and embarrass her that badly? I know Sarah's a very private person and to have her feelings and situation blared all out across the school couldn't have been good. I just want her to know that I had nothing to do with that and that there was about a dozen misunderstandings between us that lead to this. I want to tell her that I should have asked her out at that first play and that I'm sorry for ever hurting her. But Prom hasn't happened yet and I don't know if talking to her is the right thing to do. Will she eventually come back if I give her her space? We're graduating in 3-4 weeks. Has she really moved on? How can I win this girl back? Do I talk to her, or give her her space and let her come to me? Please, any advice, as detailed as can be. It hurts. Thank you.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2009):

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A male reader, drchandlerbing  +, writes (28 May 2009):

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2009):

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