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female
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*me
writes: I like this guy and my friend this he likes me. We have great fun when we get together. He has never made a move on me and I have never made a move on him. We both have baggage and are both very shy about getting involved. I have been giving him space to think about what he wants and not sufficate him, and we have been in contact on the text.I really like his parents and we get on very well. But, we met through our parents who were very good friends. Now I am not sure if our parents are friends anymore, my mom said some things last night about his mum, which quite upset so I can say anything to mum. I am worried that any relationship (whether that ends up as just a friendship or a romance) that I have with him will be ruinned by our parents. What can i do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, snowbird  +, writes (17 August 2006):
 There are two of you in this relationship, no more, and if you are meant to be together, then so be it. Of course I'm not saying it won't be a bumpy ride, but look at it this way. You guys might just be the cement to mend the relationship between your respective sets of parents.
'Baggage' just makes you the way you are, the person you have become because of it is a reflection of the way you handled that baggage.. Did you learn from it and become a better person, with the insight to help others in a similar situation - or did you get all bent out of shape over it, and spend the rest of your life trying to wreak revenge on the rest of mankind!?! YOUR choice..I know the path I have taken personally, and it is the path which gives me the most pleasure, and gives its' own rewards. So much for baggage..you can allow it to take you down the river and drown you, or you can climb aboard and float on to safety..depends on how you deal with it.
It's great that you like, and get on with his parents, that is a HUGE stepping-stone, and if you can carry on in spite of what your mum is saying, all well and good. Just ask your mum why she said that about his mum, and when she tells you, say something along the lines of "well, you guys have been such good friends, maybe you don't like what she has said/done, but it does'nt mean you don't still like her as a person, you always got on so well"..
As long as it is clear that you will not take sides, and see all points of view, it should be reasonably OK - of course your guy should take the same stance. It will be difficult at times, particularly if it turns into an on-going feud, but as long as you two don't get sucked into sniping at one another's families, and handle this in a mature way, you just may crack it.
I can't say too much as I have no idea what went on, but if you mail me privately and, I may gain the insight to help you. Families, eh, who'd 'ave 'em?!? :o)
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