A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm 18 years old, never been kissed, not pretty, very chubby and I'm asking: Will I ever learn to live alone? Because of my appearance probably no one will ever want something more than be friend with me. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2009): I know it often seems that way, but one's physical appearance has very little to do with finding a partner. Pay attention to couples in the streets and you will notice something interesting: a lot of them are a "missmatch". I have seen tons of very unatractive girls holding hands with good looking, cute guys. I have no idea how is that possible, but it is. So don't worry, you will find somebody too.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2009): You're 18 years old and have your whole life ahead of you!! Instead of dwelling on things you don't have, think about the things you do have! If you're going to be attending college soon or even working, you have a chance to meet new people and get away from the high school mentality that "if only" you were "thin enough, pretty enough, etc." Don't think like this! One of the coolest person I met at college wasn't the prettiest, not the thinnest, but she was funny as heck, very smart, and had a boyfriend. I noticed another girl who was nearby who was thin and attractive, but she had an ugly/cold/superficial personality. So again, focus on what makes you special and what unique qualities you have to offer! You are beautiful, so keep on smiling!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2009): girl. you are 16/17. stop worrying about this! ino ino...im only 13, but still, i really like this guy i dated like 2 years ago and he likes me again, and in my mind im thinking i might actually marry him...but anyways back to answering your question...
There is Someone out ther for everyone. i know it. i've gone thru guys like that *snaps finger* and most of them are fugly jerks. so just wait a bit. we still hav college to get through, and then love will find its way(:
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A
male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (28 November 2009):
 The fact is that any young (that's you) female can put herself into the top 50% in terms of attractiveness and therefore desirable to a majority of men by force of will within a year or so. That is not to say that it is easy but then neither is the other outcome that you fear.3 things:- loose weight, more by exercise than by starving yourself. Get started and this will become a virtuous circle. Do it right now. Go from here to your kitchen and throw out everything that you know to be bad for you and then get your coat and go to the front door and go for an hours walk.- work on your hair and your make up skills. Don't over do it but spend time experimenting and finding out what works for you. - be feminine and flirty. Watch films with very feminine women and absorb what they do. This is NOT to say that you fawn over men, put up with bad behavior from them or appear desperate but it does mean that you act like a woman. Many many women in western countries have forgotten how to do this.- ask others for advice as to how you should dress. We don't see ourselves clearly. I have no idea how many times i've seen a girl, let's say in a restaurant or coffee bar and thought, "if only she would change that she would be much more attractive." My oldest girl is not yet 8 and she is beautiful but chubby whereas her mother and younger sister don't have an ounce of spare flesh on them however she already knows that if she wears darker colours with hats and let's say some beautiful boots it draws attention to her height and to her beautiful face rather than to her too chubby middle.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2009): Its weird because I want to live alone, the thought of having a girlfriend is literally my worst nightmare. Its all perspective, you will be ok, you will meet someone you love.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (27 November 2009):
 I am not sure how chubby, chubby is, but there is no reason why you should be thinking that you will be on your own for the next 60 or so years.
Whether you end up in a long term, committed relationship or not doesnt depend on your appearance. Once of the most attractive, intelligent, high earning qualified women I have ever met was still looking last time I saw her at her 40th birthday.
However, if you believe your weight is a blocking point then for your own peace of mind you need to do something about it. (Unless it is caused by a medical condition, and not the other way around). You dont need expensive gyms or antsy fancy diets to lose weight. Reuce the size of your meals, reduce the amount of sugar intake, stop eatting chocolates and other sweet foods, dont drink soft drinks such as coke and fanta etc, limit your alcohol intake. Rather than eating a full meal eat from a side plate rather than a dinner plate.
Exercise, a brisk walk once a day for about 30 minutes will do wonders, not just for your weight but also for your mental and emotional well being. Hold your head up, the physical action of lifting your head will release endorphins (the feel good hormones) into your blood stream. Sing, it too releases endorphins.
You live in a very beautiful country (and I am going to visit one day) take advantage of this, go and explore, make a determination to discover something new and different every day, or every week. Keep a record of your explorations.
Umm, dont forget, even in the northern hemisphere winter, if you are going to be outdoors for a longer period, to wear a hat, and some sun screen.
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