A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:-Nearly 22-Never had a girlfriend-Kissed once ( drunk )-I really struggle talking to girls-No friends that are girls, not even 'Sorta' friends-Never approached a girl, but read everything on how to do it lolI feel a big void, never having connected with a girl, held a girl, touched a girl intimately, had interesting conversations etc etc i could go on and on.Only thing is i get told all the time I'm really good looking, which is saddening because whenever I'm out with friends drinking at pubs/clubs or just at the beach i don't think girls pay much attention to me at all. I know it isn't the only important thing but i just find it weird to be told that a lot but i never notice girls taking interest. Im a typical guy as well, im not overly nice or look needy when i do find myself around girls which is really rare lol, im usually pretty confident... maybe i just need to make moves?What I'm trying to ask is will I be stuck in this rut forever where I don't meet many girls, talk to them, become friends with them etc? It's really depressing at times and really the only thing in life that is becoming annoying. And I also don't want to wait for the right one or save myself, I want to experience what girls have to offer.
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female
reader, Lemonpixie  +, writes (26 January 2009):
 Its all about approachability mate. It's tough to describe but some people are just unapproachable...whether it's because of their looks (not hot, or not) their mannerisms, or their location.
You're probably saying location? What the?
Well I notice when I'm with a big group of girls we hardly ever get approached. Most guys are too intimidated to walked up to 5+ group of girls and say "Hey Ladies" (unless they are incredibly drunk)
But often times when I venture off to the bar to grab a drink and disloacte from the group... I get some winks, nods, and hello's. The same goes for men!
If your at the pub with a bunch of football cheering blokes...dont expect to get approached. Go with a couple of mates to a nice pub and if you see a lady you like, go sit next to her at the bar while you order a drink...then strike up a small chat about something or other. It's really not rocket science...its just about timing, confidence and again approachability
A
female
reader, Jmo +, writes (26 January 2009):
 Just a thought. From the way you've described yourself (attractive, confident, not overly nice or needy) and the fact that you never approach the girlies, it sounds like you might come off as someone who wouldn't be interested even before a conversation is initiated (even though you know this is not true). You sound like a decent catch so I'd suggest you make the first move. Hell, what do you have to lose..... other than your virginity.
-Jmo
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (26 January 2009):
Well you say you go on holiday and go to pubs so what do you do there? Do you just sit with the guys in a corner and scowl? Do you work in a men only environment?
Next time you are out make it your mission to chat to ONE girl. It's going to be scary to do it the first time but just go to the bar, stand next to a girl, smile and ask he if she's having a good night. Just chat while you are waiting to get served. It doesn't matter if she has a boyfriend, just chat to her, be friendly.
If you set yourself that one little mission to just hold a 2 minute conversation then it will be a big confidence boost. Then next time you can make it your mission to chat to a single girl. Start small and work your way up.
We girls are not that difficult so just aim to get chatting and you'll be surprised how easily the rest will follow.
Good Luck!! xx
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