A
female
age
41-50,
*issing my soul-mate
writes:Dear Cupid....My ex and I broke up two months ago and I am still devastated. I have cried everyday since. I go out with my friends, see my family and have even been on a few dates! but, when I am driving or in bed I cry. I miss his laughter, his voice, his hair, his views, our time together and our sex life! We were together for 2 years, lived well together, traveled well together, had the same lifestyle choices and believed in the same type of spirituality and moral conduct. We shared everything and loved each-other dearly... never a night or morning that we did not cuddle and never a day we did not laugh together.... he left me...I wanted marriage and I know I had become fearful, thus causing me to threaten that I was going to leave if he did not propose! I never meant it, it was a scare tactic that went horribly sour. He also had some intimacy issues that he had been seeing a therapist for (ED in the middle of activity) and I do not know the type of therapy he was getting, but I noticed that it made him retreat inward. So, one day after therapy he said, "I can't do this anymore, I need time to be myself and If I realize I made the biggest mistake of my life, I will come back begging!" he said that over the phone and I have not seen him since. I moved out of our beautiful home and have tried to carry on, but I believe he is my soul-mate who has gotten some bad advise from a therapist. He has written me emails about how much he loves me and how amazing I am. He says he has grown more with me than in his whole 30 years of existence! I too, concede that I have grown with him more than I have in my life and am continuing to grow through this process. I just want him back so bad Doc...HELP! How long is he going to take to realize what we had was rare? Can he really forget about me? We were so close...connected...in love. We shared every moment together, our lives intertwined...why this??? I am soooooo Sad!Thank you for helping,Missing my soul-mate
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female
reader, lonestar7  +, writes (6 November 2010):
Your story sounds exact same as mine( together for 2 yrs n have broken up for 2 months now) escape that me n my ex still do things that we used to do when we were still a couple but..... i have to bear the fact that he is not serious about me and i cant show him my whole love ....Its probably that your and my ex are confused...they just need time to be ready for commitments ....men can feel burdened or tied down when we talk about getting married.....i can understand what u r going through now....but there is nothing we can do but be strong and wait...its hopeless...its a good sign that he is emailing you... it shows that he still cares for u....don't keep your expectations high but don't kill your hope totally either....Why don't u try calling him n meeting him...may be he will realize how happy he was with you n want u back.....Good luck!!!
A
female
reader, missing my soul-mate +, writes (26 June 2008):
missing my soul-mate is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your response to my question "will he ever come back". He and I have not spoken since the break up, but have written emails. He has sent me money and has gotten very upset to hear I was out one night, and text me to tell me how painful it was for him to hear. He says he is growing and wants to be "friends" It has been two weeks since our last email.I am going out, I did get my hair done, I am at the gym... I cry everyday still. I just miss him and us. Our talks, boardgames at night, going on roadtrips and playing practical jokes on eachother....I can't shake him off...
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A
male
reader, oldfool  +, writes (26 June 2008):
 He'll come back if and when he wants to.
In the meantime, you shouldn't wait. Get a life outside of him and you. You can't waste your life on expectations that might or might not be fulfilled.
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A
female
reader, LilzDon'tKnow +, writes (26 June 2008):
 Alright, prepare the chocolate, cookie dough, and the tv remote. He probably is not feeling the same as he used to. Now he might realize that he misses you (They say the heart grows fonder with absence) And he might realize he wants something new. He might never come back. And he might be with you tomorow night. It's all up to him. You cannot answer the question your dying to hear with absolute certainty at this point.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2008): i absolutely do not agree. there is no way that he is just not into you with the relationship the way you say it was. he could just be confused and therapy doesnt always help everyone. i know that very well from experience. but she is right in the fact that you cant just sit there and cry every day. it isnt healthy and you will just slip deeper into depression. if he is your soul mate, he will come back sweetie. just give him the time and space that he needs to think it through. marriage is an extreme commitment. and maybe it scared him a bit in the way you used a scare tactic on him. have you told him how you have felt over these past 2 months? have you both had absolutely no contact? how recent are these emails? were the before or after the break up?
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