A
female
age
36-40,
*emily06x
writes:My boyfriend and I were together for 9 months. We are both 17, and it was are first serious relationship. Things were great! But then he started to hang round with some new older mates, because people his age were too ''immature''. Suddenly he would ditch me, so he could see his friends insted. He then told me a week later he needed a break, to 'figure things out'. When we were on the break, he got really paranode. If he saw me chattin to another boy he would get really jealous, one day he would see me in collage and kiss me...and the next day he would totally ignore me.After about 2 weeks of this, my head was all over the place, and i told him that i loved him but i didnt know where i stood, so ended it with him. It broke my heart, but since we have broken up we have been spending more and more time chatting, textin, etc. He told me he misses me, loves me etc...but at the same time he dosnt want to be in a relationship?We have met up since we spilt, we get along great. But we still hug when watchin tv for example. he has asked if i would be willing to ' be best mates with him, hang out together alot, have sex on occassion but not start dating other people!' Surely this is just a relationship?Im so confused. Will he eventually see that he wants a relationship with me? or should i move on :(?thanks youuuuu
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a break, jealous, move on, text Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2007): Oh, and the reason he does not want you to date others, does not have much to do with how he feels about you, guys his age are territorial about their sexual conquests, and he wants you at his beck and call and does not want to worry about some other guy taking you away...he wants to keep you as convenient as a shirt pocket.
If a guy wants a relationship with you after 9 months, he makes it pretty clear, no confusion involved.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2007): Having sex with a guy does not make him fall in love with you or give you a relationship...what your boyfriend is suggesting is a sex buddy relationship where he does not have to give much to keep you interested, since he has your number and sees that you will take what crumbs he is going to offer you.....It depends on whay You want, if you can keep from having your heart broken, want casual sex without strings or deep emotions involved, then that is right up your boyfriend's alley.
If you want more, move on and don't buy in to his BS.
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A
female
reader, Emma_Australila_1983  +, writes (17 July 2007):
 Hi Hun,
This sounds like a very confusing time for both you and him.
Being 'best mates' with him including all the good stuff he wants but not the committment will eventually hurt you more my dear.
The best thing you can do is to get along with your life. Keep yourself busy with friends and family and other commitments. Start doing some sport or a hobbie and keep yourself surrounded by positive happy people. Eventually he will be able to work out whether he wants to committ to you or not and in the meantime you have got along with your life and maybe even met a special someone else in the process.
You deserve to be treated well, you have to consider your needs as well so if your not happy with his arrangement, move on. It may be hard at first but you'll end up happier in the long run.
x x
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