A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:My seven year common law relationship ended ten months ago. The last ten months have been challenging at times and now finally things are turning around. I have met many new people whom I do not think I would have met when I was in the relationship and I am getting excited about life again. My question pertains to the issue of closure. I am still living in the same condo that I shared with my ex. He no longer lives here and was lucky enough to go back to where he is from with lots of family support and a new relationship. After ten months it still feels like he will be coming back. Although I am dating again and investing in new people, I just feel like I did not get the closure that I needed to completely let go. There are just things that I wish I had said. I flew out to see my ex in the fall and I wish I had said what was in my heart and head but I did not as it was such a short visit. He became involved with his new girlfriend after that and the chance was lost forever. Would it be out of line to request a meeting with him when next I am in this city on business or would I just set myself up to be rejected once again. I feel that he has been a bit patronising up to this point but I do not know what is going on with him at present. A coffee with him would help with closure but there is a risk there I guess.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you to whomever it was who responded to my query. Very level headed and honest. Keep up the good work and continue to respond to people's questions. You have a knack!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2006): Hello,
I don't think you should chase after him, especially if he is in a new relationship - he might think you are desperate and trying to break them up. If you have managed for the last 10 months it means you are able to carry on without him. I don't think meeting him will give you closure - he is with someone else so that should be enough closure for you. Please try and hold your head up, you are just as important a human being as him. He might realise his mistake if this new relationship he is in doesn't work out. But you have to give him time and give him his space. Don't chase after something that has already gone. You can't let this rule your life and determine your happiness. Don't give him the opportunity to get one over you again. Be with the people you have met who can make you happy and just live for the here and now. Move out of that property if it will help - that might give you the closure you want without you having to contact him and risk any humiliation, and still not get the answers that you want from him. Br strong!! Good luck sweetheart xx
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