A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:Please Help Me it hurts Till Today from 25 Years ago. Back in my Twenty's I was Friends with a Group of Guys We did all kinds of things together. But mostly Party And Look for Girls. I met a very nice Girl who was a Virgin We dated few Months I didn't Think We had much in Common so I broke off Her and She was Still a Virgin.I did not want to use Her knowing I would must likely break up with Her. Till Today I am at peace with this. At this time one of the Guys broke up with His 2 year Relationship with his Girl because She Cheated on Him. Soon He went out looking to meet Someone new found this Girl who Just Finished College went out with Her a few Times. About 2 Weeks Later talking to Him about where We will go to Party that night. He asked Me if I wanted To Go out with this Girl tonight. I Said to Him You were saying few days ago you liked Her and how nice She was. Then He said to me if you would like to meet Her tonight good if not I will leave Her on The Highway instead of taking Her Home. I did meet Her few days before at his house and she did seem to be nice so I said OK. When we met everything clicked for US WE Dated every Week. Now when I talked to this so called good friend and asked more about Her. This is what he said I think she had somebody before. She did come from Europe when She was 16 Years old for a 2 month Vacation and stayed here for good. So as I starting falling in Love with Her I asked Him over and over again did you do anything with Her meaning did you have Sex with Her Every time the answer was always No one time He did not know she was in the other Room and She heard me ask Him. OK now I am Falling in Love with Her Fast She Spoke Great English but never talked much about Herself. I asked if She had a Boyfriend Now the Answer as no.It was like Pulling Teeth for Her to talk About Her Past. Thinking what My so called Good Friend said That He thinks She had Someone before I got to the point and asked Her are You a Virgin. Her Answer was MAYBE. I said Maybe what kind of answer is that it should be Yes or No . I Then Asked if she was Raped OK Now She Starting talking. Saying She had a Boyfriend In Europe and one time he force Himself on Her. She told Me That She got mad at Him For doing this to Her But later agreed to have Sex so He would not leave Her. She it was only a few times and she did not know Me then. Hearing this was about the worst thing I COULD HEAR FROM HER I was Thinking what to do now I was so hurt I liked Her so much.She was a Nice Person To Me and My good Friend did tell Me He thought she had somebody before. So now that's it. I Myself had 1 blow job . So thinking a maybe Virgin would Fit Me better. Maybe a week or so past and I was thinking She was a good Girl NOW .BUT I NOW WANTED SEX FROM HER. She was OK with this. as time went we lived together got Married and had Sex Everyday Morning and Night most of the time. Except when I would ask more about her past She never really told me any more but I made Her mad Asking now and then.13 Years into the marriage She told me pick one morning or night I didn't want to hear this great News but now had to live with it so. I Picked Morning thinking it's a better way to start My Day never seen Night Time Sex anymore after that. NOW I am down to if lucky once a week. and with that it mostly used as a Weapon always asking what did I do today to deserve Sex. now what I start thinking about the past and near our 25 years together I started to think back and said to Myself O NO. I asked Her if When She Was with MY So called Friend Did they have Sex and that was how He knew you had Somebody before. She got mad said to ask Him. I said if I ever see Him I will. Just said I LIKE TO KNOW IF IF I WAS LIED TOO. THAT S ALL SHES MAD AT ME LIKE I AM THE ONE THAT HAD SEX. All She said was to grow up THAT'S LIFE I think this was Her Way of saying Something Happen for sure. as of now we are not Sleeping in the same bed if this ever will get better again I don t know I AM SO HURT NOW how could Someone do this to You .I ASKED HIM MANY TIMES IF THEY HAD SEX IT WAS ALWAYS NO I NOW FEEL LIKE THIS WIFE OF 25 YEARS I DON'T KNOW HER AT ALL.SHE IS A PERSON THAT NEVER MAKES A MISTAKE IN LIFE OR AT LEAST ADMIT TO IT.SO GOING THERAPY WITH HER WILL NOT BE POSSIBLE Here is what I THINK HAPPEN IN HER LIFE. She had sex with Boyfriend that She didn't like THEN . came over here may have been good for many years and this so call friend of mine may or did have willing Sex with her or tried to Sex with her and maybe was in her and She pushed him off of Her that is why he said I will just leave her on the Highway after the club. NOW IF EVERYONE CAN TELL ME WHAT CAN I DO TO MAKE THIS PAIN GO AWAY 1.WOULD A PSYCHIC BE OF HELP TO ME IN FINDING HOW MANY SEX PARTNER SHE HAD. 2 DO YOU THINK I HAVE THE WRIGHT TO KNOW A LEAST IF SHE HAD SEX WITH MY SO CALLED FRIEND. 3 IF SHE DID HAVE SEX WITH MY SO CALLED FRIEND DO I NOW HAVE THE GREEN LIKE TO CHEAT. 4 TELL ME WHAT EVER YOU THINK WILL HELP THANKS EVERYONE. 5 WHAT WOULD YOU DO.
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blow-job, broke up, her past, still a virgin Reply to this Question
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male
reader, als77  +, writes (9 January 2011):
First I want to say shame on you to all the other comments! This man is pouring out his heart, and you refuse his right to have such feelings? You may strongly disagree with him and even be provoced by his feelings, but that does not give you the right to disrespect him and laugh at his feelings! What would you feel like if you discovered that your 25-year marriage was built on a lie?So to the answer of the questions...I get the impression that you have asked her this question many times before. If so, have you thought about the possibility that her answer is coloured by her being fed up with the question? I guess this is a trust issue, and they are never easy :( The questions:1) I don't believe in psychics, so I don't think it will help. However, if you believe in them, then you must be aware that seeing one is a breach of trust from your part 2) Considering that this is (and was) such a great issue, I think you have the right to know (at least if you were clear of your views to her back then)3) No. A wrong does not undo another wrong, and it will destroy your marriage.4a) What about a marriage councillor? Is your wife up to that? 4b) Unfortunately you can't change history, so there are only two solutions: 1) Learn to trust her, 2) learn to live with the fact that she (may) have had pre-marriage sex. If you still love her of all your heart, then maybe you have to take the burden and see a psychologist so try so lessen the pain of her (possibly) having had pre-marriage sex.5) I would cry my eyes out and feel betrayed, since I feel that sex should only be shared with one other person (and thereby in the marriage). I have played with the idea of seeing a psychologist or someone to try to destroy these feelings (since "noone" of my generation share my views), but I don't know if I am strong enough to go through that pain.
A
male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (28 December 2010):
 Good God man. Pull yourself together. Never heard anything so silly.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2010): Grow up. This is pathetic. It is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS what she did before yo two got together. You're lucky to have such a good wife, especially one who has stayed with you for 25 years. Get your head out of her past, it is not for you to know about. Give the poor woman a break. She is not obliged to have sex with you morning and night, if she doesn't want to, she doesn't have to. As for your questions? Would a psychic be able to help you find out how many sex partners she had? No, because they are all phoneys, and again, IT IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS! STOP asking, it doesn't matter. You DON'T have the right to know how many people she slept with, or who she slept with. You NEVER have the green light to cheat, what a stupid question. Grow up, leave her alone, get some counselling, stop acting like a hurt little child and man up a bit. Learning to type wouldn't kill you, either.
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A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (28 December 2010):
 Are you seriously complaining about something that happened 25 years ago, before you dated your wife? So what if she had sex? She wasn't with you then. She's been a good wife to you for 25 years. Out of respect for yourself, your wife, your marriage and the good times you have shared, focus on letting this useless thing go. It does nothing but mess with your head.
P.S. You will never have the green light to cheat. Don't be a fool.
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