A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My fiance is using viagra but we seldom have sex We don't live together and he gets a lot of free time to himself but I can't understand why he uses it Do you think he's cheating on me or do you know why men use this stuff when in a happy, loving relationship? I just can't work it out!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2008): Does he ever use amphetamine (speed,whizz)? It may sound extreme but it often causes failure in a man. Take a look around and you see if you see traces of white powder. I think accusing him of cheating is stupid and he will distance himself more if this is your way of dealing with it. I also need to say that a lot of lads my age use viagra (i am 22),not for impotance but just because it can take you to 100% from being at 95%,if you get what i mean.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2008): I imagine frow your reaction that it must be difficult for him to share his problem with you. Instantly you turn his problem into an allegation. I question why you are so suspicious?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2008): He is in the age range where he could have ED (assuming he is also in his 40s). I have been reading a lot about the ED drugs as I am in my 60s and might need them soon. To my surprise, I have read that some men use them so that they can masturbate. I don't know why anyone would pay $12 per pill to be able to masturbate, but oh well, if that is what they want. If he is doing something like that instead of having sex with you then that is another serious problem.
Some of the discussions that I have read on other forums are from guys that are really worried that they cannot perform sexually, even with their wives. Some even have problems with Viagra, Levitra or Cialis. Perhaps he is trying it to see if it works with masturbation before he tries to have sex with you. Does he have trouble getting or keeping an erection when you do have sex? Does it bother him much if he does? Does he use Viagra when you have sex with him?
You need to talk to him about this, but if he is cheating then he will probably just lie about it. Does he know that you know that he uses Viagra? If so, what has he said about it? I have always been honest with my wife (maybe too much at times) and been able to talk about any problems, sexual or otherwise most of the time. However, we did not always do so well before we got married, so I can understand that communication can be a problem for you. You just need to discuss this with him and determine what is the problem. Since you are planning marriage you should try to communicate better than you are.
Sorry I can't be of more help, but we could use some more information.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2008): Oh sweetie
Im sorry but my relationship with my husband was a happy loving relationshship until we stopped having sex, my husband explained to me he was having ED, so I understood and so we cuddled a lot and kissed, until I found out he was online chatlines and had a whore to go to....now we are trying to work things out he has a ED alright, now, because I am disgusted and I am having trouble to feel like getting it on with him......
Keep your EYES OPEN ..............
GOOD LUCK
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (29 January 2008):
 Viagra is used to treat ED and also Pulmonary hypertension
You can obtain more info at this site;-
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pulmonary_hypertension
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2008): You seem to be under the impression that because he doesn't want sex, he doesn't want you. No, that is likely not it. Stress, others medications, lack of rest, hormonal levels all contribute to a man's lack of interest in sex. Hun, have you talked to him about this? Has he been to a doctor lately for a good check up? If he's using Viagara then he's possibly having difficulties functioning sexually. There are millions of men, who after reaching certain ages, that suffer from erectile dysfunction. It doesn't mean he finds you undesirable, it doesn't mean he's cheating...it means he has a 'physical' problem attaining and holding an erection. Many men who have an ED (erectile dysfunction) will avoid having sex with their partner. Rather than face what feels like another experience of "failure" or personal embarrassment, some men choose to avoid being sexual at all. So try to really understand what he's undergoing by talking lovingly and openly with him. As for Viagara, the wonder drug--it has helped many men...but it is expensive. I know in Canada here, it is. Sometimes, it is a drug that some men use with great care and sparingly, due to the costs.
You have to decide what you are comfortable with. If you want a sexual relationship as well and he will not get to that point, then you have to tell him. Sometimes, even getting some professional help may help a man get through whatever is causing this problem for him, be it physical or emotional. There are many instances where when dealt with properly, most of these causes of sexual avoidance can be greatly improved and in many cases removed altogether. And yes, a couple can have a deeply satisfying relationship-without a lot of sex. I can't stress enough though how crucial it is that the both of you must be in total agreement and on the same page, here. If one of you really wants sex a lot and it isn't happening then that person will eventually find themselves depressed and angry, and the relationship will be in trouble, as a result. But if physically and mutually satisfying relationship is important to you. You certainly would not be in any way, wrong to tell him this. Communication, is the key here. Talk to him and work together to resolve this. Good luck and best wishes to you both.
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