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Why would he think he would be the one for me?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 October 2010) 3 Answers - (Newest, 15 October 2010)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

hi, i met a guy who im not interested whatsoever, we just talk once in a while. at the begining when i met him, he asked me if i was a virgin. he insisted to know and for some weird reason guys tend to know who is and who isn't (like if its written on our forehead). at the time i was. whenever i would see him and talk, he would always bring up the subject. he would tell me how sex would feel according to some random girl he knew. then he would tell me about his own first experience. he would tell me i look like the good girl that could be a good house wife. i feel he makes up an idea of me of what he thinks i am.

one day we were on the phone, this has been the only time we ever spoke on the phone, he literally weirded me out. he said i should come over and watch a movie, get comfortable, etc. you guys know what that means. i wanted to be on the phone just to talk but he popped out with this, i was speechless and weirded out. i didnt know what to say. he came on to me too fast too strong. the other day he messaged me online at 2am to hang out but i never replied.

sometimes he would tell me and assume he should be the one i should loose it to. i would just avoid his remark.

i didnt talked to him for a while and when we did i would try to avoid the conversation about sex. god there's so many topics out there sex shouldnt be the main focus.

one day he asked if i was still a virgin, and no. then he made this face saying- why not me? he wanted to know what was so special about "the One i lost it to". the story with the One is different from this one, he is oviously special to me. life is complicated but the One is still special to me.

all i told him was that the One is special to me and i liked him a lot but after him i was going to stay celibate till marriage and i have since.

ever since i told him that he wants some out of me and i dont. its a complete no.

the reason i'm here is because i dont understand his actions, the way he thinks? why does he make himself sound special? why would he think he shouldve been the one i lost it to? why would he think he would be the one for me? if anyone has an advice or opinion, i would truly appreciate it.

View related questions: celibate, still a virgin

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2010):

thanks for your advice and opinions, i have tried to avoid him and really i dont see him much of a so called friend

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (12 October 2010):

aunt honesty agony auntMen can sometimes think strange things, and its also an ego booster for a man to be a womens first. He may just be big headed and assume you would want to lose it to him. It sounds like he is not wanting to be in a relationship with you he just wants to have sex with you. If am honest i think its quite rude to ask a girl around for sex i know he never said that in so many words but he suggested it. He doesnt sound like he is the right man for you and at least you know this. He obviously set himself a mission to take your virginity just tell him you dont want to be sexual with him that you just see him as a platonic friend. Just keep reminding him this and hopefully he will give up.

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A male reader, doublejack United States +, writes (12 October 2010):

From what you described, this guy sounds like he's a bit unbalanced, or possibly full of himself. Whatever the case, I suggest you avoid him.

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