A
female
age
36-40,
*etters_to_you
writes: I met a guy(we'll call him Pete) two months ago at my friend's wedding. We were both staying there the week leading up to it, and hit it off...even though I have a boyfriend. The night before the wedding he kissed me. Nothing else happened because I did not want to physically cheat on my boyfriend. That was fine with him, and we stayed up the night just lying together. Pete lives in a different province, and we began talking over msn and texting. He told me that he wanted to 'steal me away', and that he's never felt like this over a nice, normal girl before. I heard from him every day, usually more than once. Fast forward to last Sunday. We spent FIVE HOURS texting back and forth, he told me that his mother wants to meet me, and a few hours later I get three more messages saying how he really needs to call me, he wants to talk about the life problems he's been having. I couldn't talk at the time, so we decided that he would call me Monday. Told me to message him during the day to remind him. I did. He didn't call. Over the next four days I got one text asking how I was. When I finally texted him to say I was getting really confused and hurt, he messaged me back saying that he couldn't help it if he was busy... and then another one that said "I look like [a celebrity]". My question is A)Does that actually mean what I think it means? Is that his way of saying that he's too good for me or something?? and B) in a situation like this, why would he lead me on? Why would he bother? There were no benefits to him. Adding to the confustion is that the morning after he messaged me first thing in the morning(which was unusual) like nothing had happened.
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (23 August 2008):
Well he's hardly going to put all the effort in the world in to a relationship where you have a boyfriend and live a million miles away.
He's being nice and flirting because he enjoys it and probably likes you. But he's not in a relationship with you, so he may not call and may send you random texts that make no sense. He's playing and so should you be.
Don't take it seriously and stop having an emotional affair when you already have a boyfriend. That is not nice and not fair on anyone.
Good Luck!! xx
A
female
reader, doe44  +, writes (23 August 2008):
You are being pranked, psyched and toyed with. the love story is in your brain. he has done nothing, nothing to make himself love.
Love yourself and I wish I knew what I know and answered you `a year ago. this guy is not frustrating you for nothing he is controlling your emotions. it is a deadly game. where they call you every day and suddenly stop calling, they will not answer your calls, will not respond your e mails and your text messages. After thinking about the person every day for about a month, stopping is impossible. Your mind will crave him like a drug. you will go into episodes of confusion, sweat , chills, panic attack, crying spells, withdrawal from society, moody, staring , gazed, palpitation,loss of appetite, loss of interest, suicidal thought etc....You are under training. When you are completly tamed, you will have your own time with that person, your own hours to talk to them and of course what ever they want you do. They become your pimp and you do not even know it. they will control your emotions, will take money from you and another 30 girls that are going to the same thing. Some vulnerable girls have committed suicide, some have remained emotionally impaired some girls have reacted and in return do the same things to vulnerable men. Be careful when you see your calls being ignored and played with. some of these men have HIV, hepatitis or STD and they always attempt to sleep with you unprotected. My cousin did that to my best friend Jen. She was going to a lenghty bitter divorce for over a year when she met Jocelyn.
He lived in New York and she lives in S. Florida. After sweeping her off her feet online exchanging pictures , and to make matters worse, he even promised her that he was going to change his job and apply for a job in S. florida. Which he did. However, he came to s. florida , the girl went to pick him up. Then they were supposed to see each other for a birthday party batch well to make things short, He never showed up, never answer his calls, e mail remained without answers. Plane and ticket to a concert to new york that they had planned was wasted ( of course the girl's money) to this day he never made contact. Of course he was doing the same things to others. I remember my friend saying: " what did I do " ? for months.. she did not do anything . I felt that I failed her because I did not know and did not understand the symptoms. She deteriorated from the best to so so. ....... these guys by the way belong to a secret sect and they have pacts that they made and money goals, they have meetings, they also very into bisexualism. but still in the closet. All of them are professionals: Doctors, Physician assistant, computer programmers, lawyers,... etc.... They all will take money from you all.
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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2007):
I know what it feels. Whether the man is 14 or 44 they all play mind games. Maybe he has commitment issues and wants to make sure he has his feelings perfectly clear before he takes it further. If you are tired of the games, tell him how you feel and he either stops playing and get serious or you move on.
Jen, 14
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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2007):
Lay off him and see what happens. Dont respond to him. He is playing a high school game with you and should know better at his age. Just ignore him and i bet he jumps into action. Anyway why do you want to be with someone so immature?
take care
xx
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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2007):
Very strange, unless he is attached, shy, scared to perhaps get rejected by you if he trys to take it further.
I would suggest perhaps you beating him to it, if you wish to take it further. At least if you ask him out and he say's "no, not interested in you like that", you will know he's just a flirt and no planning to follow through.
Some people, male and femail, like flirting but never intend, and get totally buggered up if someone wants to take it further. They clam up as their intention was innocent, even if it is suggestive.
Call his bluff. He's old enough to handle it!
(p.s.) yes, it is a bit highschool!
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A male reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2007):
yeah, he is being wishy washy. dont pay him any special attention for a bit and you will see he will come back running. dont be rude or mean, but treat him just like you would if he was the ugly guy in shipping, or someone you have no attraction to. if he asks whats up...tell him.
if this persists for more than a month, tell him to get lost and you go grab you a real man.
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A
female
reader, doe44 +, writes (23 August 2008):
Girl you are in training. I repeat, in training. It is a prank that boys and men play on girl that has romantic follies. they lead you on , some kind of cinderalla stories for some times and after that you are addicted to them., they dump you. Popping up their head from time to time as to kind of strenghten the cord on your neck. You stupid you, not knowing that you are being pranked you will feel confused, disoriented, sad, moody, crying, lonely, lifeless at times, gazed eyes, palpitations, poor appetite, nausea, vomiting, lack of drive, knot in your throat and your heart. The only thing that will alleviate this symptions is the perpetrator itself. Meaning if they need money you will do anything to give it to them they need an I pod you will give that too,. You will attempt to buy what your body is craving for. This is psychological mapping and some girls have prostituted themselves to buy that love. Some have given themselves freely at the will of the perpetrator sleeping with whomever he wants them to. some girls have lost their homes giving their mortgage payment to the jerk. some with underline mental disorders have killed themselves. Once you see that you are being psych get out. and let those jerk play these games by themselves and for themselves.
Ps. Most of the perpetrators are people with disfunctional penis, low libido, frustrated people that cannot please their partner. Some became mean and frustrated after having homosexual experience and cannot help going back to men while they cannot accept the thought. Some are abused people ettc...... Pull back at once. This love you have for this man is only in your brain. He has done nothing to earn it. Duh.........
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