A
female
,
anonymous
writes: I have just started dating this man. So far we have only had sex when he is drunk. We have sex once every two weeks, even though we spend every day together. I complained to him and he said he doesn't have confidence, doesn't think sex is important, doesn't want it to be routine...etc. What could be wrong with him? He says it has nothing to do with me, I'm great, yada yada... Any ideas of what going on? How could a man not want to have sex all the time?
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male
reader, J. +, writes (1 December 2005):
Guyz are generalized as sex maniacs. They see this...that, they want to touch it right? Yea we like to check you out and get arroused with the right movements from a girl. I've actually had a friend who told me "it's just not that important to me, I like doing it but I'm not gonna die without it. It may seem like I'm defending you boyfriend, but I'm simply giving the benefit of the doubt. If he's a bigger (weight) man, maybe he is a lil embarrassed of his extra stuff. If he thinks he doesn't think he performs well in bed with you, maybe he's kinda embarrassed about that.On the other hand not wanting to "do it" all the time gives the opposite sex reason to believe whether they're not attracted to them, or they're getting "it" from somewhere else. You need to sit down when nobody is around and ask the question directly. "What are you not confident about?" If he's good in bed the times you actually do it, mention he's good. Let him know that's not what u wanna work out. It's the neglet of giving that part of your life much attention you want to talk about. He may try to go around the question and get it over with quickly, but tell him to take his time and think about it b/c you care for him. And if he wants to have a healty relationship, this has to be worked out.I hope this atleast gives you some kind of idea/opinion. J.
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