A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Why would a guy hold back from sex ? ive started dating a guy for the last 4 week (we only see each other no-one else ) we have done everything apart from sleep together. He did say he wanted to wait until date 5 before sleeping with me. He certainly doesnt have any problems in the bedroom so why do men stop themselves , is it a fear of getting emotionally involved too quick and falling for someone or is it something else ? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2019): What's the rush? Sometimes sex is how some people bait you in and try to make you feel obligated; by holding you emotional-hostage. Most women connect their feelings to sex.
If he has a rule to wait until the 5th date; I would speculate that allows him time to determine how he feels about you, and give you time to really know what you feel about him. Sex can cloud the judgement; and often feelings are based on the enjoyment of physical-pleasure and attraction, and nothing else. Sex can become the center of everything; and the only reason some people stick around.
He is a serious guy, and he's not just looking for sex; or to be baited. Allow yourself to experience a different approach. Don't expect every guy you meet to be the same.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2019): I have dated a few men and the ones who hold back tend to be the ones who actually like you more than just to have sex with you. You are probably used to men just wanting to have sex and see it that they are into you?? I would think more than anything he likes and respects you and wants the first time to be special.... Not all men are just trying to get into females panties and have a bit more about them
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A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (2 January 2019):
 Hi Op,
You do realize if the guy had come on to you too soon, you would be making a different statement right??
There are some guys out there who actually look at other guys behaviour, hear the complaints of women, and do not want to be like all the others. So they try to wait to show the woman that they are not after them just for sex.
I am one of those guys. Over the years I have been called gay, slow, boring, and other names, simply because I did rush penis first into a relationship. Also dumped because I chose respect rather than have an animalistic behaviour towards sex. I never wanted to be classified as "All men are the same", and did my best not to be. He could be one of those guys.
A guy like him may also be waiting for you to make the first move. To give him a clear go ahead, so that he knows he is not being presumptuous with his actions.
If he wants to wait for date 5...Then make date 5 happen sooner than later.
Some guys just don't want you to have any regrets after.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2019): Have you stopped and thought that he respects you and doesn't want you to get the impression that he is only after a quick sex?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (2 January 2019):
 I don't think he is worried about getting too emotionally involved.
Might be he just kind of want to make sure that YOU are someone HE can see himself with long term. Or he was waiting on results from a STD test... or he just likes to drive you a little nuts WANTING him physically, or he was out of condoms and it sounded like a reasonable excuse. Etc. Etc.
There is nothing wrong in waiting a while before jumping into bed.
I can only guess... And there are PLENTY of options to choose between.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (2 January 2019):
I don't think he is worried about getting too emotionally involved.
Might be he just kind of want to make sure that YOU are someone HE can see himself with long term. Or he was waiting on results from a STD test... or he just likes to drive you a little nuts WANTING him physically, or he was out of condoms and it sounded like a reasonable excuse. Etc. Etc.
There is nothing wrong in waiting a while before jumping into bed.
I can only guess... And there are PLENTY of options to choose between.
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