A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:A couple of months ago my wife had a very serious and deceitful love affair. So serious that they were planning on getting married. He even lived at my house for a couple months I told him he could since he had no where to stay. Of course this was more my wifes idea. He however is no longer in the picture my wife says she made a misstake and wonts to work it out. We are doing very well know. My question is she still wont get rid of the love letters from the affair. There in a box in a closet and everytime I look at the closet I feel like I relive the exsperince. Just knowing that she is still holding on to that makes my heart break. I feel like in order for us to suseed she needs to fully let go of him. Also being someone who has and will always be faithful I feel like since I have completly forgiven her she can at least sacrifice somthing for me and get rid of the letters. Tell me what you guys think.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2009): Tell her how hurt you are by the letters and why would she want to look at letters that upset her?Ask her to get rid of them or burn them in front of you. She doesnt need objects from a bad past like these letters it will help both of you move on from this.If she loves you enough she will get rid of the letters. Im sure she will as she says she is really hurt over what happened though.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2009): I was in a similar situation a few years back, my now ex-wife had an affair, which ended and we tried again, but I found a stash of photos she had hidden of her and this bloke (nothing sexual, just normal days out etc).
I didnt give her a choice, when she was out I burnt them!!
She asked once if i had seen any photos, i denied it, nothing else was said.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (22 April 2009):
 It's a question you should ask your wife. And HOW it makes you feel is also somethign you should tell your wife.
If she can't let go of the letters, she isn't over him. It's that easy.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe man she had an affair with is now in jail. He lied to both of us about his record and about many other things. When his brother thretened to tell my wife the truth he assaulted him and went back to prison. At first this was the only thing that kept me and my wife together was him being in jail. But now she wants to work things out. She says those letters remind her of the lies he told. But still I think they more remind her of the way he made her feel. I just wish she would get rid of them. I have read them and never want to see them again.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (22 April 2009):
Yes, if she wants to rebuild the trust then she should be cutting contact and getting rid of everything from him.
Ask her WHY they are still there and why she wants to stay with you if she was so happy with him that she needs to keep reminders.
She can't work it out with you if she is only doing it because she feels she has to and not because she wants to.
Talk to her again and stay calm and ask her to explain this.
Good Luck!! xx
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