A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend of one year proposed to me last fall. We are both 55 years old, have a lot in common and for the most part get along very well. The plan was to marry this upcoming spring. As of yet, he hasn't given me an engagement ring or made any anouncment to our families or friends. As of thew last 3-4 months, he seems to not be as interested in making love and says it's due to being so tired from his work. What's more, when I attempt to engage him into having sex in the mddle of night, he looks at the alarm clock and makes remarks about how tired he is. He's not as affectionate as in the past when we began our relationship and set up house together. What could have made all of this cause his actions and interests in our intimacy change? Why won't he tell people of our plans to marry? It worries me and hurts me. What should I do to turn things? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2008): If I read this right, he proposed a year ago and you've been together for a year - so he proposed just about the moment he met you? If so, he proposed when his ardour was at its height. A new sexual relationship is always frantic and exciting at first, but now after 12 months he's cooled off from that stage and settled into a more regular routine. What you get now is probably what you would get in the future.
I don't think I'd take too kindly to be woken in the middle of the night and be expected to perform - not unless I'd been having an erotic dream and was all fired up and ready to go!
As for why he won't announce the forthcoming happy event, maybe he's not so keen on it now, but I'm only guessing. Perhaps he now notices all those irritating little habits of yours, the same as you no doubt notice his. Whilst sex is important in any relationship it's not the be-all and end-all, and at his age he won't be the same stud that he was perhaps 10 years ago. There has to be a connection of your brains as well as your genitals.
The only way you're going to get to the bottom of it all is to have an honest discussion about the whole relationship. Communication is all important.
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