A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Can someone explain this to me because im totally confused!!Recently, my boyfriend of 4 years has gone to Amsterdam with his work for a global meeting. I asked about what has happened there, and he sounded hesitant at first to tell me. I asked about the red light district what it's like since he mentioned about it. So for 4 days, he couldn't even call or SMS me because apparently he was unable to, which I find hard to believe and, when I asked him about using any "services" he burst out defensively saying he wouldn't do such thing like that but he went hysterical. I didn't know what to believe, so I dropped the subject. Weeks later, I felt that I needed to know because my gutt feeling was really with holding myself back from him. So, I asked him something about Amsterdam but it was just something insignificant, yet he burst out at me saying "I already told you so" . Weeks later, he says when we just had a conflict of diffences about something silly , he brings up "I wish I had cheated on you" out of the blue. Am I missing out on a point that I dont understand??I want to get passed this, but how? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2007): The truth has a handy knack of always coming out and I hope for your sake it does otherwise it will eat away at you. I think the 'set up' described by the other post is a great idea - check the reaction from him carefully. Being highly defensive is a first sign of guilt. The bottom line is if your gut instinct says he's cheated then you're probably right. Don't live with suspicion as it was him that created it. Business trips to Amsterdam are littered with opportunities. It doesn't mean to say he took advantage of the hookers - but you need to be sure. Most men would like to think they'd got up to something but would probably run a mile. Do the set up - but if you cannot live with the issue of it all move on to a man who doesn't have to go to Amsterdam on business and is prepared to be open and honest with you. Good luck
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2007): He does sound very defensive and the very annoying thing is you may never know whether he is lying. I had a boyfriend who used to use prostitutes while he was on business in Amsterdam. When I found out I ditched him. Do you really ove your boyfriend? If you do then you are going to have to forget it. If you aren't sure about him anyway, perhaps you should cool it or finish it and find a person who you instinctively know you can trust. Perhaps they won't be into business travel.
Just because you think your boyfriend might have done something naughty and been unfaithful, does not mean he would. On the other hand he may be afraid that someone else will tell you about it from work.
You could tell him that you have developed an infection of some kind below. See how he reacts when you tell him you are going to the doctor because you can't understand it. If he is calm, you know he did nothing. If he freaks out you probably have got a reason to worry. Don't act as though you suspect he gave it to you. Of course it will be nothing more than thrush. If you see whet I mean. Let us know what happens. Good luck, I hope he turns out to be a lovely man and not one of the ever increasing numbers of selfish, sleazy slobs that exist in this world.
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