A
female
age
41-50,
*enta
writes:During the heat of the moment with a guy I have been seeing for almost 4 months I told him I am falling for him and he said "good" I think I should of kept my mouth shut. He tells me he is crazy about me and i had been away for 3 weeks and he told me he could not believe how much he missed me. I was shocked that he didnt know he had misses me so much. He tells me how pretty I am and is very sweet to me. But that reply wasnt what I was lookin for. Good??? What does that mean???Also we hung out all weekend but we never really go on dates. We meet up at his house and watch movies and he makes me dinner...is that dating or no?? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Odds +, writes (24 January 2011):
 Re: "Good."
He's trying to be Han Solo. Since he's described in other ways how much he missed you, I'd say it's no big deal, just him trying to play it cool. A lot of guys believe that we have to be really, really sparing with words of affection, especially after only 4 months.
Re: Dating.
Making each other dinner is a date - and a pretty good one, too. The conflict here is that you want to go out and do things, while he likely doesn't enjoy that kind of dating. It'd be willing to bet that previous girls he's dated would take go out with him, let him spend money on them, and then put him in the friend zone. Try taking him out for drinks, for walks, for hikes, dancing - anything cheap (so no dinner yet). Pay your half, or better yet, do something free. It'll help him feel more comfortable taking you out places.
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (24 January 2011):
 "Good"...heh. This one's an easy one. I'm guessing that he would consider it weakness to reveal too much of how he really feels toward you. He told you he was crazy about you and that he couldn't believe he missed you so much. That's the kicker in this story. You have a lot more influence on him than he wants you to know. He's scared of being vulnerable in that way.
Be patient with him. Don't push for verbal affirmation from him. His actions are showing you what he feels about you, and eventually, he won't be able to keep them in. However, 4 months into the relationship is still a new one. Give him time, patience and SHOW him love rather than saying it a lot for now. Let him get used to the idea that showing his feelings toward you won't make him unmanly, weak, or "whipped". It's quite possible that he was hurt in the past pretty badly by someone who used his love against him.
As to your second question - hanging out all weekend with him cooking for you and watching movies together is one of the best kinds of dates! So yes, you're dating. If you want something more traditional, or if you have an interest (like outdoor activities, sports, or particular interests), don't hesitate to ask him out!
Back to the larger issue. You're analyzing this like crazy. Sit back and enjoy things! I know it felt like you were vulnerable and he wouldn't reciprocate, but give him some time. I don't know if you know Star Wars or not, but this reminds me of the part in Empire Strikes back when Leia tells Han she loves him, and his response was "I know."
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