A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I don't know what happened!! A few days ago I had a great time with the guy I've liked for around 6 months. We kissed (a lot) and shared a great intimacy... we weren't talking about anything that important most of the time, but it felt so close and comfortable. He told me a lot of things, like that I was the only woman he'd been interested in since he met me as well as a fairly long list of things he likes about me - and not just the physical things that most guys will comment on but also about me being smart, funny and the only ray of sunshine in this town. He even hinted at the idea of me being his girlfriend. That day it seemed like we were finally both being real and open with each other. Although I didn't say as much as him because I was a little worried about scaring him off. Then when I saw him the next day, I wasn't quite sure how to act around him and I think I came across as more reserved. The day after that (yesterday) he said he thought we rushed into things. He said he likes me and is attracted to me but isn't sure if he's confusing friendship with something more. He also said he couldn't stand living here without me to talk to if it didn't work out. So then he stressed the idea of us being just friends and now he is treating me as one of the group instead of paying me extra close attention as he used to. I've heard from a fairly reliable source that he hasn't had a girlfriend before, which for a 23 year old guy is slightly unusual - I'm worried that he might back out of anything remotely serious often. I'm also wondering if me being reserved might have made him think I don't want to be with him after all. I guess I'm after any insight on why he might have done this, when things were going so well, and also what I can do about it? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2009): Wait, I gave you the wrong idea - there was no sex involved, not even any nakedness... Just kissing, holding each other and talking...
I've had experience with guys who just want sex and those who want something more and I could've sworn this guy fell into the second category. That's why I don't understand what happened.
Oh and the person who told me this guy has never had a girlfriend also told me he hasn't had even a casual relationship, ie hasn't had sex yet...
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2009): I agree with OlderSiser,
Girl, YOU GOT PLAYED!
Nothing you can do but cut losses, and learn better next time.
If you're looking for long term, let guys know sex is for committed relationships only. If they don't respond back in a good way, you know what they wanted.
Guys will usually not turn a NSA fling into a relationship, very rare. The most these things turn into are "friends with benefits."
His lines were just to get you into bed, they worked.
Secondly, his rep for no longterms, plus his age, scream---PLAYA.
Good Luck
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