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Why should I apologize to this mess of a family I'm in?

Tagged as: Family, Marriage problems, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (7 December 2011) 4 Answers - (Newest, 7 December 2011)
A female United States age 51-59, *ndoubt1972 writes:

My marriage falling apart because of step children! Very very long story and in most cases typical when it comes to husbands spiteful ex wife! She is 37 now and at her last job ( That she is being charged with embezzlement and is a state troopers wife) called her Satan. Little did they know in Highschool she was known as Natas... Satan spelled backwards. She has been hoooooorrible and I can't believe I am still hanging in there! I came into the picture 2 years after their divorce and when I met Brads 2 girls I fell in love with them! I took care of them 99 percent of the time when we got them for summer visitation because my husband traveled for his job.At the time youngest was 8 and oldest was 10 ( I had a five year old of my own). It has been just a nightmare! I wanted those girls because they always told me about being punched and beat over different things and I believed them because I heard it from different people who were old friends of my husband and his ex. One friend was there at the hospital when their youngest was born! She said Natas was awful to those babies growing up.I fought with my husband over and over and his ex over things I seen and this has been a constant. My husband and I separated for a few months and asked my husband to bring them to me for the summer. I was at one point very close to the girls, but their mother worked on them so much I think deep down they hated me... and I had nothing to do with their parents divorce. The Trooper step father was one of the many she was cheating with and my husband was cheating just as much on her! I found alot of this out later just asking questions. He doesn't even know if his youngest( now 15) is his. Lets shorten this up, after all this worry, stress, and sadness because I felt the girls were being abused ( I was abused growing up) and I couldn't run with them... they have turned on me, stole from me, lie constantly and have turned my in laws against me and keep constant fights going on between my husband and I. The 18 year old did this by saying how bad she wanted to come live with us that her mother was horrible, the step father punched her in the nose- all this! We decided we would move to where my husbands job was based for 3 years and search for a house there! I busted my A$$ doing everything helping her look for work, making sure my husband went and got her car, checking schools to find one she would be comfortible, The list goes on and on and on! My husband and I went to pick up something for dinner and I had 2 margaritas while waiting... that was the happiest point of my summer.The only problem with that is I speak mind when I drink them! During the month she was with us she cussed like her mother- every sentence had the F word in it, she had several fits cussing out her dad and taking off down Houston highways, she took our bank card twice spending over 120.00 the first time and the second time 200.00 and again the list goes on and on! That night because my husband wouldn't I called her mother and told her she needed to put her child support in an account so she could use it for fixing up her car or just extra to spend at the mall. Of course we all new this wouldn't work ( The mom is going to trial on embezzlement) Shes a thief! Her mother proceeded to tell me That SD was calling wanting to come home! Lets see, she had the car now, bought what she needed with our bank card, has a boyfriend in the town she lived in that she had met and slept with 2 weeks prior to us going to save her... and she wants to go home! I packed her bags! This caused a war between my husband and I and my in laws and I do not even want to talk to SD. I went through a horrible depression blaming myself because I didn't keep my mouth shut, but now I have came to conclusion... why should I- it made me a doormat! My husband and mother in law is begging me to fix this family and that I should apologize! The only one I should apologize to is my daughter who just turned 13...also from a broken family and is not constantly feeling sorry for herself and causing total drama. If I could win the lottery today I would walk the EFF out of this selfish families life and give my daughter was she has been deprived of... MY FULL ATTENTION! I don't even know why I typed this question... the answer is clear. P.S. The sisters and Mother in law are flying the girls to AZ for Christmas... they will spend a fortune on them... Guess who once again they will leave out who has been the girls sister and a part of their life since she was 5... but I should apologize

View related questions: christmas, divorce, ex-wife, fell in love, has a boyfriend, his ex

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A female reader, Indoubt1972 United States +, writes (7 December 2011):

Indoubt1972 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

P.S. I am Ex wife with child from another marriage... He doesn't have to constantly deal with drama! I really didn't realize that being a step mom meant I become the door mat and him as a step father meant his way or no way

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A female reader, Indoubt1972 United States +, writes (7 December 2011):

Indoubt1972 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Family... she chose to leave and once again play everybody against each other! They haven't lived with us full time... they have played everyone back and forth. I could have dealt with it if it were just us dealing with issues... she caused problems in 4 states... and nobody was concerned about my youngest nor do they ever! I didn't know that his kids are mine yet my daughter is not his and there are only 2 special children in this group! I don't think it would have been excepted if it were my youngest! So I am to apologize to an adult who cussed out the youngest non stop, treated us all like crap, stole from us, and ran back to Kansas knowing this was here plan from the beginning... to use us for a car?

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A female reader, Freyaxoxo United Kingdom +, writes (7 December 2011):

I think you should say sorry. No matter how bad it get's there still family at the end of the day. If you take care of the children a lot you should tell your husband to buckle down and help you

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2011):

First of all. Nothing of it is mostly un-expected, in marrying a divorcee with 2 girls and Ex wife being alive. So live with it. Time will have answers. Now that you are married, never leave just because of ex-wife and daughters factors etc etc.

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