A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear all,There is a gut at my work place that sometimes we need to work closely together on projects. There is never any personal talks with this guy, but everybody jokes a bit at work.so, the friendship I am referring to is actually just being nice and friendly as coworkers and nothing more. I somehow feel that he likes me, but I managed to keep the distance in a friend- coworker zone pretty much well. My reason is that I don't like to date with co-workers as it brings awkwardness at work. I love my career and position and do not like to mess around with it. Recently, I noticed that he tries to get to my personal space like brushing against me while passing by even where there is plenty of room, or touching my arm by his chest accidentally when looking at something together, etc. Every time, I step back and let him know that he is in my personal space and I don't like it. Last time, he stood closely to me while talking to another co-worker. In all of these times, When I look at his face, he looks like someone who is caught and avoids talking or looking at me at that momemnt. My question is why he is doing this? any pleasure in it for him? is he trying to test the ground to see if I am interested? If the latest is correct, how should I react, what to say to show him that I want our relationship to stay just in the friend zone? Dear aunts and uncles, please advise me! sometimes I feel that I am so naive when it comes to understanding guys :(....
View related questions:
at work, co-worker Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Aunty Babbit  +, writes (2 September 2013):
 That sounds like a very good idea and the right thing to say but please remember that if he doesn't respect that and stop this behaviour you must report it.Good luck. AB x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the replies! I am going to follow your advices, I should confront him and tell him that I do not want this. Please tell me what I am going to tell him is good or not. I think I can just tell him that " I always respect people's personal space and it is very important to me that others respect mine as well. And if somebody gets into my personal space makes me so uncomfortable." and leave at that. no mentioning if him having some interest in me or anything else. I don't want to open up that sorts of conversation with him. I just want him to be comfortably a platonic friend. Don't get me wrong! He is a very attractive and sweet guy, and maybe I am trying just to protect myself from having any feelings for him, if the relationship goes out of control.That's why I would like to avoid mentioning anything special to him...Not sure if i am clear on this....So, do you approve what I am going to tell him?
...............................
A
female
reader, Aunty Babbit +, writes (1 September 2013):
This is a horrible situation for you because if you tackle him he could say it was accidental and make it look like you're overreacting when you know you're not.
I think that when you're alone together you need to tell him that his behaviour is making you uncomfortable and that now he knows, if it continues you will report him to a supervisor. You must also follow through with that if he continues to invade your personal space.
You must stand up for yourself and show him that you're not to be intimidated. His behaviour is creepy, if he was a real man and interested he wouldn't do this, he'd ask you out.
I wish you luck and hope this helps.
AB x
...............................
A
male
reader, Mr.Manimal77  +, writes (1 September 2013):
Ok here it is. It seems really apparent that this guy is an A1 tool so this is how you deal with him. Grab your chic nuts and tell him straight up and honest and as sweet as you can and tell him, " I'm not stupid I know what your doing and I thought that by now you would get the hint that I am not into you like that. Now you can continue to have this behavior and I can nut check your dumb ass every time I THINK you want to touch me. This will be a painful, uncertain and probably counterproductive working relationship, or you can stop with the Tom Fucqery and we can get along in harmony and you won't have to gossip with your Nancy boy friends how much of a bitch I am. Now how about we go grab some beers after work."
...............................
|
