A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I work with a very diverse group of people. All types, all ages, so the maturity at the workplace is not the highest. Even supervisors are know to say some inappropriate things. A topic that came up recently was about virgins. Comments like, "I feel sorry for virgins" and "if you're still a virgin by this age... thats sad" we're made. As we're comments about how many people they'd been with.I kept quiet and attempted to tune them out. I wasn't about to be part of that conversation. I'm 22, female, and a virgin.I'm not a virgin because I'm waiting till marriage or anything... I just have never become close enough to someone to do anything thing aside from kissing or playing around. I am dying for that type of relationship but its just not happened. Guys have tried but I just don't want to have sex with anyone I'm not particularly close with.I just don't understand why there is such a stigma... I'm pretty self confident but it did make me feel... Bad for some reason. I was tempted to cut the conversation and say "I'm a virging, is that an issue" but, obviously, I didn't say that.Thoughts? Advice? Thanks in advanced guys.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2013): Don't feel bad im in the same situation, but at least you have experienced kissing, playing around, and im 27. Like you its not by choice, it's because ive never had a girl step up to the plate, or they are just too occupied in trying to milk information out of me about my friends, which i never share since the only one i want to get laid is me. But trying to tell them that feels like pulling teeth, so after awhile i shut up and go back to being anti-social since ive never had a legit girl thats ever wanted to be close o me like that, i have a hard time even trying to remember who my last true best friend was.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2013): Maybe you should say something next time the virgin-bashing happens. Sadly, I think it's because our sexuality is seen, in society, as something to be thrown around to any bidder. If you can't get any takers, that's the only possible time you'd stay celibate. I also think it's ridiculous. I was a virgin until age 25...and I'm a model. Definitely not for lack of opportunity. So keep respecting yourself, honey, and stay strong. I believe that the right time to have sex is when YOU feel you are with a very good man with very good potential, and when you feel RIGHT about it. And speak up. Tell those a**holes who make the comments that you're just respecting yourself, and that your future partner will respect you that much more for it. (Mine did. He felt so honored. And neither of us is religious.)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2013): Stand firm in your personal ideas about what virginity means to you, and you alone. You will always come up against idiots who slam virgins as you will come up again idiots who slam promiscous people. It has nothing at all to do with anyone else and even though their comments are not good to hear, I would feel proud to say that you hold onto YOUR virginity for someone special, not just because it's virginity but because it's something 'you value' and have stood by it.
The comments are childish and really deserve little thought.
It should not matter to anyone enough to talk about who is getting sex and who isn't.
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