A
male
age
51-59,
*ayster111
writes:By the way im in iraq while all this is happening, I'm 40, my sons mother is 30, my son is 10. we have been togther for 12 years, I do love her. we have been through so much fighting and arguing, anyway last dec I decided to break up because I was telling her on the phone that i was going to be laid off and she wanted breast implants, I said you have to be kidding and I broke it off-shes always been horrible with money. She seemed quiet for a few months but then she started to work her way back into my life, she said she wanted me her and the baby to be together, after a few months i cracked and gave in. we went on vacation and talked and she agreed to want to work things out. By the way she mentioned to me that she was harmlessly dating a guy for the three months when we broke up. But I didnt mind because she came back to me and we did break up. I figured that she still had feelings for me. After our vacation she went back home and i went back to iraq. when i got situated i kindof had a feeling that something wasnt right, because when i called her she said she was sleeping and she hung up so i called back and she picked up again and i said hey everything ok? she said yeah and i said well ok ill call you tommorrow and we hung up. but i went online to my cellphone carrier so i could see all the phone calls, i saw the 2 phone calls that i made to her and in between she been trying to call another number, so next day i said to her was that number her ex she said yes, and i said why are you trying to call him(because each call was 1 minute) she said they were just friends. i explained to her that if she wants to work out things with me she cant call him again, only if she breaks up with me, i told her i dont want to be part of this situation, why is she playing these games why doesnt she just leave with this dude?
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female
reader, laura585 +, writes (5 July 2009):
So sorry jayster- for some reason I am unable to reply to private messages- I hope you dont mind me replying on here: Anytime a child is involved the situation gets sticky. Leaving IS an option, "never looking back" isnt because of your son. For some reason when parents break up the child tends to blame themselves even though they have done absolutely nothing to cause the situation. I would say if you leave it is imperative that you make it clear to your son that you and his mother love him very very much, and just because you and her arent together that it wont affect your relationship with him. You and the mom need to talk about your sons future calmly, putting all hurt and blame aside so that you can make the best decisions possible. Make it a point to be involved with him as much as you have been, you will have to see her more than you'd like but thats just one of those unavoidable things. I hope it all works out for all 3 of you the best that it can. I hope my advice helped a little at the least :)
A
female
reader, laura585 +, writes (5 July 2009):
She obviously can't make up her mind. Maybe she isnt quite ready to leave behind her 10 years with you for this dude she hasnt known for long, but doesnt want to commit fully to you either? She needs to make a choice, really what she is doing is not fair to you or the other guy. I would suggest if she continues to sit on the fence about it that you just move on- make her choice for her.
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