A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Why is my friend behaving so weird? i thought it would pass but its gone on for so long now!Hes said stuff in the past such as we;re great friends, we will always be friends, i'll never fall out with you, i love you(as a friend).But....When we go out he wont speak to me like he will to the others. he makes conversation with them, will mess around with them..but not me.One minute hes hardly speaking to me the next he will just say something to me and speak normal for afew minutes then stops. Or if i say something to him he will answer fine but then we dont talk again.He will make the greatest effort to sit with the others even if its squeezing into the smallest space but he wont sit with me if theres a big gap. (which i believe has something to do with the fact he wont speak to me)When we have sat talking alone we havent really said much.The thing is its not even a constant thing for instance if hes shy or confident. Because one minute he might just say something to me and be fine with me, then the next he just wont talk. Ive tried to make an effort but it seems to go no where. He seems more bothered about the others sometimes. Thing is hes a decent guy, doesnt use people or anything i just dont understand why hes being like this. If i could ask him in would but as i say he doesnt talk. And if someone asks him something he doesnt wanna talk about he just strugs it off and backs away. One minute hes fine and talks normal the next hes not. Whats up with him? :(
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice  +, writes (14 May 2010):
 I looked at this this morning and I thought that yep, that is one weird situation. So I back burnered it to see what anyone would say.
Now it's been 7 hours since your question and no one has an answer for you.
Some people clam up (stop talking) in defense. In other words they have something to say but they are unsure how it will go over. Your question is why does he treat you so differently from the way he treats his other friends. These two things are probably related.
You are not the same to him as his other friends. He feels more need to protect his relationship with you. He may be over respecting you. For example, not sitting too close. He does not want to risk a rejection from you. What he doesn't get, is that you interpret that as him keeping it cool with you (that he is less interested in you. He bared his soul to you once.
The ball is firmly in your court. You will have to show him some positive feedback before he will make another play.
A good idea would be when he sits near you, you slide up to him. To interpret the body language he says " I would like to be with you if it's OK with you?" To which you reply "Yes, I like to be with you."
Being a guy the words will come last. Don't pester him for them just keep giving him reasons to believe.
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