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female
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anonymous
writes: my boyfriend broke up with me 9 days ago. he lived with me and my son, he was at the hospital when he wa born and from then on lived with me and my son calls him daddy. he has always been there then he just got up and left saying he dosent want anyone to answer to. im confused he calls to ask me if i wanted to ask Him to lunch. so i said do you want to go with me to lunch and he said okay sure. then he wants to call and question what ive been doing he also will try to hold my hand or put his arm around me like nothing happened. i asked him if he loves us he said yes but wont come back to us. should i give him his space and hope he will come back or when a man leaves is it over with. he is the only person ive lived with even in high school he always stayed the night at my apartment. im staying with my mom since he left im not used to being alone, what should i do? why is he acting like this? what would you do ??
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female
reader, Toria +, writes (27 September 2006):
 Firstly you need to go home and try and get use to living alone as the longer you stay at your mums the harder it will be to come to terms with living alone.
Secondly I would leave him to get some space as all the time you are meeting him and allowing him to kind of control you from a distance he has still in a way got you and not missing you or really thinking about what he is missing out on therefore you will go on like this forever.
If he doesn't come back and the relationship is over I would have a good think about what part you want him to play in your childs life as you said he was there from day one and once you've worked out if you want him involved then you then need to talk to him and see if he still wants to continue his role as your childs father.
Good luck :o)
A
female
reader, Donnah +, writes (26 September 2006):
 Why is he acting this way?
You both sound young.
He seems to be searching. Most people don't find themselves in high school and some not even college. Taking on a family is a big responsibility.
Is there something in the relationship that happened that perhaps made him feel unappreciated. Perhaps he is finding that other men his age are doing other things and he's torn. It's too bad he can't talk about it.
He's reaching out to you so he seems to be unsure of what he is doing. Either that or he is like you and co-dependent.
I would be his friend....no quickies or sex. Just be friends. If there's anything to save. Rebuild a friendship and don't see anyone else. That will just complicate your situation.
Let him do what he needs to do. But don't sit at home and cry about it. I read once that men are like rubberbands. They go off but bounce right back. If you don't give him that space, he'll never bounce back.
You used the word "us". That's a no no. Use "I" or "me" statements. Do you still love me?
It's too bad your child calls him "Daddy". He's probably so confused now. I don't know his age so can't say much there. Don't confuse him anymore by bringing "Daddy" back into the picture on and off.
It's time for you to grow. Being independent will take you to a level that is empowering. If Mom could help you out until you get off and up....then great.
Work your way to being a woman of dignity and honor. Don't cry about you know who. It hurts to be neglected and dropped liked that. But the sun keeps shining AND SO SHOULD YOU!
If it's meant to be, it will.
Good luck, hope this helps.
Ciao!
Donna
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A
female
reader, ButterflyonFire +, writes (26 September 2006):
 Hey girl,
I'm not positive why he's acting this way, but it seems like he just needs some space. Has he accused you of being demanding or anything like that? Men don't like women telling them what to do all the time, but some of us have a habit of being bossy and sometimes we don't even know it.
I'm guessing you have your own apartment since your staying at your moms for the time being. I think you should go back home. Even if it's hard because your not used to being by yourself. It will show him that your being dependent without him. And it's a good idea to get used to being on your own anyways, just in the case for one day you are. Trust me you don't want to get stuck living with your mom! I live with mine and it's no fun.
The way he's been acting tells me that he needs space, hopefully if you go back home he will start coming back too. If you need anything feel free to send me a message. I hope you two get back to normal soon. I can tell you love him and miss him.
~Jamie
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