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Why is my body failing to respond to her?

Tagged as: Health, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (23 May 2008) 4 Answers - (Newest, 11 June 2008)
A male United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Hi all

I am a 25 year old guy and i have always considered myself pretty horny and having a good healthy sexual appetite, I have just recently become involved with a good friend who i have known for about 5 years but its only in the last couple of months our circumstances have changed and we've owned up to liking eachother, I cant tell you how amazing it feels to wake up next to this girl, really I cant believe my luck, my problem is a common one but not one that i ever thought i would have , i feel sad and weird for admitting it but: we have slept in the same bed several times,lots of kissing and petting, and no matter what i try, i cant get an erection around her.. Mentally i think this girl is amazing,i could see myself with her for a long time (quite an admission) and physically i couldnt ask for more, shes easily the most attractive girl i have ever had the pleasure of.. Whats even more worrying for me is that to get around the fact that im not hard, i stimulate and please her, to the point where i make her cum like no girl i have ever been with, and she says that i am amazing at everything i do,it feels so good etc, so WHY is my body failing to respond? It brings me to tears as i dont know what is wrong with me..

For the record i can get an erection when i am alone..

Any input is greatly appreciated, I dont want to lost her or disappoint her, this isnt how a beautiful relationship is supposed to start and it brings me to tears.

Thanks for reading and i hope to hear from you soon.

View related questions: erection, horny, kissing

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2008):

Hi,

I think what I might do is obtain some Viagra in order to get you over this. After once or twice with that you'll probably not need it anymore. I hope this helps.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2008):

Could it be that you have what is called performance anxiety? Are you subconciously nervous? It seems to me like this is the case, so you've got to just relax and calm yourself down. It sounds a little like you're so focused on giving her pleasure that you're forgetting about your own, so you're rushing around doing everything you can, and forget the main thing - an erection! Maybe you feel you're rushing into something? I'm not sure exactly, but to me it just sounds like something that takes time and patience, so be patient with yourself and relax. All in due course.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2008):

Ah, poor you!

If you have been OK sexually with other girls then it is either the way you see the girl, or it is the way you see your relationship.

If it's the first, you say that she is easily the most attractive girl, but that isn't the same thing as her having an ability to turn you on. I mean she can lie there next to you and you can think "aww you look so attractive" but it can be a very different thing than her being able to look at you in a certain way, or say a certain thing, in a certain way, which makes you sexually aroused. Do you think your brain could have put put her in to your "friends" category.? If it has, then no matter how much you try and convince yourself, her gorgeous looks still won't do anything to turn you on in that way.

If it's the second reason, perhaps it is because you haven't felt this way about a girl before and you (whether you realise it or not) have major performance anxiety? Millions of blokes have been there before; fancied a girl like crazy and wanted nothing more than to have crazy mind blowing sex but their penis has another agenda; staying fast asleep. If this is the case then the future looks much more brighter, it is something that can be fixed with time and patience. Take things slowly, communicate with her and let her know how you feel about her. If she can see a problem but doesn't understand, she'll automatically think it is because she isn't pretty enough and you don't find her attractive. So, take things slowly. If you really like each other, which it sounds like you do, then you shouldn't feel like there is a need to rush in to anything.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2008):

I think you just may be too nervous. She's perfect right? Well I think that would make anyone nervous to the point of not getting erect: being with an angel.

What if you mess up? What if she doesn't like the size of you?

Do you think that this could possibly be the problem?

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