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female
,
anonymous
writes: I hadn't heard from my ex fiance since christmas eve, after I told him for the thirtieth time very sternly to not contact me, and then just today I got a text from him asking where a certain restaurant was that he forgot how to get to, also saying that he is sorry for bugging me but begging me for directions. I was so pissed off, because I finally thought that he got the message, but since he hasn't I changed my number. What is he trying to do? If it's that important couldn't he stop for directions, ask someone else, or mapquest it? I didn't want to wait to have to get a restraining order, and since the things he is doing are harassment but not threatening, I think it's good that I finally changed my number. I guess my question is, why is he STILL contacting me? We have been broken up for 3 months.
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female
reader, Star_07  +, writes (16 January 2008):
 Yes, that makes perfect sense! A true friend would never hurt you and if you arent over the damage he has caused then being friends isnt a likely option.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell, i broke up with him because he was emotionally abusive, controlling, disrespectful, manipulative, you name it. It would take hours to go in detail. I'm not saying I'm completely over him, I just think it's best I distance myself from him completely, because everytime i agree to be friends he thinks there will be more, and when I think about it, I'm still hurt by all he's put me through, and I don't think I could be friends with someone like that in the first place. Does that make sense?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2008): yea i think its a little mean how your acting..if you were truly in love with him and he was your ex-fiance and you've only been broken up for 3 months your being a little harsh..i dont know what he's done to get you like this but how did you get over him that quickly...if you really didn't care or want to be with him you would've just changed your number and not care why he's trying to contact you...because i doubt he'd just show up to your house..it's obvious he wants to talk...if its truly over let it be over...but if theres some doubt talk it over with him...if he f***ed up its obvious he still cares..only you know what you want to do
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2008): He sounds a bit like my ex - he refused to admit that we were finished and I got so sick and tired of him ringing/texting constantly that I changed my number too! It was the best thing I ever did!
I think that by still contacting you he hopes you will change your mind about him and get back together! You are doing the right thing by changing your number and moving on with your life.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2008): I'd say he still cares about you and is having trouble letting go OR he may just want your friendship.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2008): Men do not like to lose a good thing - nobody does - that's why he keeps trying. If it gets too forceful, or continues very long, report him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe also has a gps system in his car, so is he just trying to prove to me that he is over me? On christmas eve he told me he was dating someone new who actually cared, yet, just the day before he was begging for me back and saying how much he loved me. He was so mean on christmas eve, leaving nasty messages saying that I am heartless for not calling him and that he regretted ever loving me and how his friends and family agree with him. I asked him if he told his new girl he's dating that he calls me, and he said that he did and that she thought it made him a good person! What about "do not contact me!" did he not understand? He would call incessantly, and if his family and friends only saw that side of him they would see that he is a stalker! Why is he contacting me?!
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A
female
reader, Star_07 +, writes (14 January 2008):
Its obvious he wants to remain in contact with you using any excuse to talk to you. But why? I guess there can be all sorts of reasons why. Some exs do it to try to get back with you and some do it to try to be friends with you. If you dont want him to contact you at all and you told him this, then Id venture to say that its probably in the hopes of getting back with you.
Im proud of you for changing your #!! That was the best thing you could have done. Hopefully he will get the point. If he tries to see you in person, then I think that it would be time for a restraining order.
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A
male
reader, JustaGuy  +, writes (14 January 2008):
You mention he is your fiance. 3 months is very early to get over someone who you fell in love with and were willing to spend the rest of your life with. He is obviously still in love. The directions are irelevant I think you know that, he wants to get you thinking of him, maybe to try again?
I think a restraining order is a little much, you've changed your number so it will be hard for him to contact you directly.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2008): Either:
a/ he still has feelings for you and he was using the restaurant as an excuse
b/ he was going on a date and he wanted you to know about it, because he is bitter about the fact that you want no contact
c/ he now thinks of you as a friend and thinks it would be alright to contact you
You have done the right thing by changing your number. Now you need to keep busy, because you are overanalysing his behaviour.
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