A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:my partner alway seems to find a reason to fall out with me and then blames me for it. the other night he totally ignored me and blamed me for being cold on bed. he said when i'm busy with other things, with family and friends i become distant. i know i give him everything and always there for when he needs me.i'm not sure what to do!!!! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2010): Thankyou all for your advice. I have decided to leave as the whole thing was getting me down and i started to lose who i really was!
A
female
reader, Blue Sahara  +, writes (2 July 2010):
 Sometimes the other person's needs aren't our needs. You may be given your all but not in the way he wants or needs. You may be cleaning the house from top to bottom for him but all he needs is a woman who kisses him when you make love. You may spend 2 hours making a dinner for him but all he needs is someone to watch his favorite show with him for 1 hour.
From what you said, he thinks you are cold in bed and are distant when you are spending time with family. It doesn't matter if he's emotions aren't what's really happening in your mind, it's how he feels and that's why he probably feels justified in falling out with you.
If he is a rational guy this can all be fixed with just asking him what you can do to fix this. If he wants you to be more focused in bed, that's an easy fix right? Or if he wants to spend more time with you, try to schedule in a little time each day where it's just you and him and nothing else.
If you can find out what his needs are, it makes life so much easier. Ideally it would be great if we could have everything from our partners but when life gets hectic something has to give. So that's why it's important to figure out which things can give and which ones are necessary to keep the relationship alive.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2010): Straight to the point here.
Youre man is way to needy and expects you to live your life around him. This behaviour is also very immature. More than likely you will never be good enough.
If this is what you wanted or expected out of your relationship with your partner .. have at er. If this isnt and you stay, he will not change, not at his age. I say run for the hills.
You may think this is a cold post, the people who read the answers before posting may think it is too ... but I lived that relationship your in, Im answering from my heart,I am giving you the best unemotional and honest advise possible.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2010): just as my partner did for years and i always believed him when he blamed me and then i realised it was not me,he was in total denial totaly blameless no matter what, he is now my ex after he dumped me for what reason i still dont know but i have my suspicions that he has been cheating all the classic signs are there,but i do know this he has some serious problems and needs professional help which he also denies and until he can admit this to himself there is nothing you can do only encourage him to seek help
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