A
male
age
30-35,
*alshie93
writes:I'd appreciate it if anyone could give me some advice on thisAbout two weeks ago whilst my girlfriend and I were away from each other for Christmas on a break as mentioned in an earlier question, I started to get little doubts about the way she felt about me, which I knew was stupid, it was just because she was busy and I wasn't and I took it the wrong way when she didn't call or text me back when she was busy.I began to think that because we were on a break she would go and get with other guys and I thought this on New Years Eve.Anyway I knew I was being stupid and a few days later she came up to visit me for 5 days. On the first night there, being an idiot I am and still feeling sort of unworthy etc, I asked her if she'd gotten with anyone and she said she wasn't like that, I then asked of she had gotten with anyone whilst we were non exclusive and just started off, and she said probably.I was shocked by the answer of probably. Basically she'd had a boyfriend of two years and then I had met her while she had a boyfriend. She broke up with him for her own reasons, being that he ignored her for two months while they were at university and then we slept together, everything was good.I remember her being resistant to anything happening though, she said she wanted time to be herself etc, this was early on about two weeks after we had met, and I agreed and just carried on being the usual me and I felt the attraction to her grow and grow.But when I found out she had kissed three other guys, I felt a bit betrayed or whatever, like I didn't see it coming and felt like an idiotSo for the first day or two, I was just thinking about her and these three other guys and trying to imagine when it happened and felt like I hadn't done enough for her to just want me and only me.I know it was silly to think that. She said that she had just come out of a relationship and didn't want to go back into one.The thing is now, I feel like my feelings for her have changed. I don't know why, it upsets me.I remember that when I felt guilty about a girl kissing me, I thought my feelings had gone. I told her and it upset her and all that and that's why she broke up with me but then I had all my feelings rush back.I feel guilty now because when I am with her I don't feel the happiness and excitement that I had felt only a few weeks ago.All I can think of is negativity, how I don't feel like I did etc.Why do I feel this now? What has happened for this to occurI don't want to leave her. The thought of not being with her is painful and the thought of her being with someone else is even worse. I feel bad though because right now I want to be happy and all that but I am not.Will this pass? How do I get rid of negative thoughts of thinking that I don't have feelings for her?I have a lot of coursework deadlines as well, I'm away from university and not really around my friends at all when I am home, so I feel that might be stressing me out.I just want to to enjoy my time with her and be happy without feelings guilty when she is with me or upsetBut I really do not know what to do now, I know I love her, I just don't feel it
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a break, broke up, christmas, kissing, text, university, want to be happy Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2012): She said 'Probably'. Uh, sorry mate, but it's never a good sign.
It sort of implies she's gotten off with loads of people she can't even remember when!
Do you REALLY love her?
Really?
Add all the positive and negative stuff about her and see what wins.
Maybe your feelings have change because you're having doubts.
Having doubts isn't that great, either.
Anyway, good luck and I'm sure whatever choice you make will be the right one!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2012): if you love her you should feel it, sorry mate she's not the one for you
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