A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:my guy is white and i'm black. i have never dated a white guy before so it is hard for me to figure him out. usually when i date black guys, the whole process goes like this. we talk on the phone, hangout, and after a while they ask me to be their girlfriends. so thats what i'm used to. this guy that i'm dating now, we have hung out, spoke on the phone, kissed and i even gave him a hand job. it has been a while now, and he hasnt asked me to be his girl. i thought that maybe he wants to take me out first then ask me. he never asks to take me out, not to his house, or anywhere, we either hang out at my friend's house or his car. we've known eachother for quiete sometimes now. and i used to think maybe it's a white guy thing but i figured that would be a racist thing to think and plus the color of a guy's skin does not make him. please help me figure him out. does it sound like we might end up being boyfriends and girlfriends? because i really like him and i don't really understand what's going on.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2009): hi I'm a girl and I'm mixed. half black and half white. I've dated all colors of boys and I was proposed to by my first bf- a black guy and after I broke it off i had a very serious relationship with a white guy- he asked me to move in with him we spent three years together before I ended it. and I agree with the top post. this guy is not treating you right. don't excuse his behaviour. guys like to take their girl to meet their friends and fam. even if his fam isn't accepting (my white bf had racist grandparents and teammates) he should be taking you on dates and spending time with you alone other than kissing. like movies, maybe dinner, things like that. you don't even hang out in his place. he's hiding you and I'm sorry to say using youI don't know why, maybe he's scared of a relationship or hes just a jerk. but it dsnt matter black or white he should treat you better. love comes in all colors and no matter what he should respect you and she's right. his behaviour is disrespectful. you are worth sooo much more. don't give your goodies away without a proper commitment. leave him. before you kiss him or hug him or !gasp! give him an hj- tell yourself I'm not even dating him.remind yourself you don't owe this guy anything cuz he def isn't doing anything for you. and dsnt care enough to ask you out. good luck girl. there are other good white guys out there. or whatever floats your boat.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2009): Leave him alone, he is not trying to date you..He may not feel comfortable dating outside his race. But, if he doesnot take you out on a date, or invite you to his home, he is ashamed of being with you PERIOD!! you dont need that. He has gotten too much from you kissing, hugging, handjobs and he has not declared any relationship with you. Please dont do these things without being in a relationship, its not a guarantee, but its better to more respectful. At least, he cant say he doesnt respect you. Hanging out in his car, is so rude, he is making you his secret buddy, that is not acceptable. You are not dating this man, leave him alone!
I am a black female whose dated white, black, hispanic and men act the same for the most part. He is a user and doesnt really like you enough to date you in public.
Dont make any more excuses for him, leave him alone. Maybe, he will see what you mean to him, and act right. Or maybe he wont, but then he wasnt worth it. He is not respecting you and you know it!!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2009): I think you need to ask him outright if he wants you to be his girlfriend. A lot of the time guys are too scared to ask out a girl because they are afraid of the answer, no matter how much we think we are making it clear we like them.
My boyfriend and I were 'seeing' each other for bout 5 months before we decided the time was right to make it official and be boyfriend/girlfriend, but I had to start the conversation that led to him asking me out, because he was scared to.
The only way you're going to find out what's going on is to ask him. It isn't an unreasonable thing to want to know, If he says he wants to take things slow, wait another month and ask him again...and if he can't give you an answer, then he doesn't want things to develop further, and you're better off ending whatever it is between the two of you, and finding someone else.
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A
female
reader, Danasol  +, writes (9 November 2009):
HI! i'm not fron USA and in my country things work in the same way as for you... and I think withe guys are like that, I've dating some guys and they do not ask you to be their girlfriend and I do not understand their process. If he really want you he will do for you and he'll ask you, but maybe would be good if you tell him what is he thinking about and let him know that if he ask you that is important for you. If he really want you he'll do, if not let him go. goog luck
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