A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm finding this so common with men I meet now, they refuse to talk on the phone. I met a great guy, we went out on 2 dates and had a blast together but we only communicate via text. At one point, I gave him a call but he didn't answer. When I heard back from him, it was via text. He texts me very briefly maybe once a week. He claims he works a lot and has a very busy schedule. Considering that, I never reach out to him I just let him contact me. Recently, he reached out and told me he "missed me" and wanted to see me again soon. I told him I liked him a lot and wanted to hear his voice and I don't like that we only text. He told me he was sorry and that he would call me that night. But I haven't heard from him. It has been almost a week. So, what's his deal is he scared? Was it good that I told him I wanted to talk on the phone or should I have just let him call me when he was ready? (IF he was even going to call). I don't plan on contacting him period, but should I and if so how long should I wait before I do so?
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male
reader, JustHelpinAgain  +, writes (24 February 2012):
Try sending a message saying " please call me when you can".....
Personally I love to talk on the phone, unless it is a particular ex, and in her case sms is fine!!
There are lots of reasons why people don't want to talk but most sound a bit negative to me. Even a shy person should be able to talk once you are friends.
A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (23 February 2012):
 I have no idea why men don't like to talk on the phone. But I don't know many guys that do. Saying that, all the men I know will pick up the phone anytime I call, and if they are not there, if I leave a message they will get back to me right away. They might only spend a minute, but at least they can be reached. New guys usually make time to talk to you regularly, cause if they don't they are not sure you won't disappear or somebody else might steal you away.
Guys I can't reach by phone are not available for a relationship. Doesn't matter if they are married, single or busy, if I can't call you to tell you about our next date, then what is the point in continuing.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2012): I'm a woman and I hate talking on the phone. I have to be on the phone a lot at work talking to clients and suppliers and my bosses so forth, and I'm perfectly fine and comfortable with that, I have no problem with picking up the phone and calling whoever I need to because there's a specific reason and structure to those conversations, it's not aimless meandering conversation which I don't like.But when it comes to personal relationships I really hate talking on the phone. Whether it's to my parents, my friends, etc. I just don't like "chatting" on the phone, I prefer to socialize in person. I'm lucky that my husband also hates talking on the phone so we never talk on the phone unless there's a specific reason to. even when one of us is on travel for work, we don't phone home, we mostly text. we only phone home if there is a specific reason.I just really dislike talking on the phone for "chatting". I don't talk on the phone while driving, and I find that if I try to do it while doing other tasks like walking the dog or doing housework, my attention to the other tasks suffers. Thus, when I talk on the phone I have to be doing just that and nothing else. And, non-essential phone calls or calls "just to talk" are unstructured and can end up taking a long time that I find it very taxing. Also when you're on the phone just to chat there's the expectation to not have any silences. I don't like that either, my brain runs out of things to say. I prefer to meet people face to face and socialize that way. If we can't do that, then I prefer email or texting. I know other people (mostly guys, but also some of my girl friends) who are like that too. your guy could be like this.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2012): "Why don't men want to talk on the phone?"
They can be overheard and therefore more easily caught by the person on whom they are cheating with you. The less direct contact needed to string you along indefinitely, the more opportunity to juggle simaltaneous affairs while keeping you in the dark.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (22 February 2012):
 I would be suspicious at this point of someone else in their life. It's okay to not want to spend time on the phone, but a quick 2 minute "I just wanted to hear your voice" or even a short call to make plans is doable for even the most non-phone-chatty of guys.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2012): I once thought like you but i know now it was just my ex who was like that as my boyfriend never ever txt me he always rings
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2012): I think I know how he feels.You know, talking on the phone is like talking face to face. It's a real time communication, you don't have time to think about what you're going to say. And believe me, when talking to the "special" girl, words don't come out easily. Especially if you are a too pretty or too popular girl.On the other hand, texting doesn't feel the same, it's more comfortable. He can think, write his words, look at them, delete them and re-write them, and meanwhile, work on his courage. He may have spent a lot of time on those texts that you consider "brief".You did a nice thing to let him know that you want to hear his voice. You comforted him. As I said, if you are too pretty or too popular, you make him shy.Just don't confuse the ideas. Be persuasive, not demanding.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (22 February 2012):
 I don't know if "men" in general dislike talking on the phone any more than women do. Some hate it. Others love it. Some are used to texting and are shy of speaking in a phone. Some are just lazy and find texting a more impersonal means of communication. Some are lazy and never text, just call.
What the deal is with this guy? I don't know, but it doesn't have much to do with not liking to call, this guy just seems not that into you to be honest. I mean if he was into you he'd at least have sent you a text when he promised to call, if he couldn't get around to calling. He'd also contact you more often. I just think he isn't that interested, and thats why he hasn't called.
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A
female
reader, Dear Mandy +, writes (22 February 2012):
 sounds a little suspicious to me! maybe his married? I mean yeah many men dont do the phone thing like us girls, but never to answer his phone , and only communicate by text and not hardly either, hhmmmm I would let this one go.
Mandy x
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A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (22 February 2012):
 Stay away from guys like that. Really it implies they lack social skills and maturity.
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