A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: i am mixed race and have been seeing a pakistani guy for about a month. i see him quite regularly and he is very kind but the only problem i have is that he tells me not to mention it to anyone as he knows that i know alot of the asian community in the area he lives in. i have dated asian lads before and none of them have said that kind of stuff to me. he has told me that he is divorced and i dont know if this is true but he does know that if i asked around i could find out about him. i dont know what to do? it doesnt feel normal to me to not be able to mention the guy you are seeing to anybody. yet we go out to places and people could easily see us together, and he had been asking me to get my passport so we can go on holiday, i just dont understand him.
View related questions:
divorce, on holiday Reply to this Question Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2007): May be he is too much self-conscious when he is relating with someone and finds it difficult to separate you as a person different from self. He may have some things in his mind about you that he dislikes and fears being talked about it in public, as that would be a kind of blow on his own timid ego. He may be feeling nervous or ashamed about revealing his soft side (that is only known to you) to other people, whom he may be likely considering to be the perpetrators wanting to invade his privacy maliciously. He may have had some bad experiences in past when people whom he trusted betrayed him or hurt him. Often such images are hard to remove from the mind, unless someone could really assure him safety in every difficult situation in life, a support he might have missed as a child when growing up.
You need to take care of him as a mother does to her child and make him feel strong when he is having rough times. Hope this helps...
|