A
female
age
51-59,
*Pmama
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for 8 months. We have both been through difficult divorces and suffer from some trust issues. He is very cautious about getting too involved. In fact, we were not exclusive until after dating for 6 months. When we became exclusive I told him that I love him and he told me that he loves me too. However, I've noticed over the past couple of months he has only said it to me maybe 3 times. When I asked him why this is he says that he feels uncomfortable saying it. But he swears that he is in love with me. Do you think that he is uncomfortable because he really isn't in love with me or because of his cautionary style? For me, when I love someone I want to tell them all of the time!! Please help. Thanks
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female
reader, KPmama +, writes (10 January 2008):
KPmama is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your answers!! I feel much better :) Love the response from your great Nan!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2008): Im sure he does love you, men dont need to verbalise things like us women!
I'll give you an example, i was talking to my great nan the other day
She has been married for 45 years, and they are the kind of old couple that stil kiss and hold hands.
They have had one of those wonderful relationships where they have been there for each other for life and hardly ever have any arguments and i was confiding in her because my bf doesnt tell me how he feels often
and do you know what she said to me
"darling, men's brains were built completely different to us, thats why we can arrange flowers (haha sorry she is 94 years old!!) and do pretty things like that, we can express out emotions and put them into words, men dont do that as often, albert (my grandad, her hubby) and i have been together for nearly 46 years and he's probably told me he loves me 5-6 times, but i know he loves me with all his heart as much as i love him. He doesnt need to say it, its the fact that im all old and wrinkly and he stil thinks im a beautiful chicken :)"
It made me smile at the time and i hope it helps.
Basically i used to have the same worry but guys really dont need to say these things as much and often find it difficult, im sure he does love you :)
x
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A
female
reader, Aunty Katie  +, writes (9 January 2008):
well, if he says he does love you trust it, you have been in the same situation as him with your divorce, so you can understand how he feels, as daft as this sounds some guys are more scared of being hurt than they let on, the reason he could be holding back, is that if he finds him self telling you all the time, that the novelty could wear off, and in those special moments where he tells you he loves you he wants you to know he deeply means it. So just relax and have fun, it has only been 8 months, in time he will become more comfortable with saying it to you.
Good Luck =D xXx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2008): Well the fact that he has said it at all is a good sign. And you can tell he loves you in other ways. He's always with you, he treats you like a queen, you can just tell.
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