A
male
age
36-40,
*nergizerbunny
writes:Ok so im back again, with more drama. I started seeing a younger girl of 18. She is a co-worker of mine and we went on a date and spent the next three days basically just making out and watching movies at my place. i like the freshness of it and when we were alone it was great. The problem comes when we are around her friends and a friend of mine. She flirts constantly with everyone around her but me. when we are in public she almost ignores me completely and i just felt totally disrespected. Yesterday we were suppose to go canooing with a friend of ours and i got off work late so they had gone off without me, i waited 2 hours by the shoreline till they got back and she didnt even say hi or greet me and when i invited them to go eat she rode in his car instead. i felt like the third wheel the whole time as she and him laughed and told jokes that were inside jokes. then we decided to grab coffee at dunkin donuts and once again she rode off in his car. needless to say at that point i told him to go ahead and take her home whenever and that i was leaving. she hasent tried to contact me or anything. blah so younger women are just immature and not ready or maybe shes playing hard to get or trying to get attention, either way i dont like being treated that way by anyone.and with older women its great but theres no future (at least i feel that way) so i guess i have to find someone my age on my mental level. this dating thing sucks.
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co-worker, flirt, immature Reply to this Question
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male
reader, energizerbunny +, writes (4 March 2012):
energizerbunny is verified as being by the original poster of the question thanks for the responses. To clear some things up. i did not mean that older women have no future, its just that from recent experience the older women i dated are normally in a different stage of life (IE kids, older kids etc) than i am (single no kids etc.) so that the future i would like (having my own family etc) is not really in the picture. I ended up telling the 18 yr old blunty that i did not like what she did and she apologized but then gave me the "im not ready for a relationship talk" but that she would still like to come over and make out watch movies sex etc. but not date. so i asked her plainly "so you want me to sleep with you, cuddle ..whatever at my place when you want to but we are not exclusive at all and we can both date" (i basically broke down for her the definition of fuc* buddy) and she smiled and said "yes thats what i want" so thats how i left it. Back on the hunt it seems.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (2 March 2012):
 You say you're "seeing" a young girl.... then describe situations in which you are not REALLY "seeing" this girl. Instead, you are "seeing her carry on a relationship with some other guy, whilest you just happen to be nearby."
Is that clear enough?
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (2 March 2012):
 Not all younger women are immature and not all older women have no future (not sure what you mean by that btw)… but this young woman you are talking about is very immature and childish.
I don’t think she’s playing hard to get or seeking attention and even if she is, it’s not the right thing to do. Personally I would forget about her as dating material.
I think that so many folks feel dating sucks that they just find someone that it works well enough with and settle down…
You have just hit a bad patch… my son who is around your age (he will be 26 in July) has not had great success with dating. He refuses to even consider women older than himself and I respect that with him. I was starting to think he’d be alone but just recently he met a young woman who is not perfect but she suits him… and they seem happy enough… so don’t give up yet.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2012): It's not her age OP but a combination of the fact she's not really that into you and you expecting something from her that you were never going to get because of that. Not all 18 year old girls are like that OP but they are nearly all flaky, bouncy, energetic creatures that like shiny things and will turn their heads if they find something shinier than you.
The mistakes you made her with these:
1. Never date co-workers. Business and pleasure don't mix.
2. In age gap relationships keep all dates and time together as just you two for as long as possible. As I said 18 year olds like shiny things and are far too easily distracted, you're not going to get to know her if you're amongst a group of friends because she'll want to be in the middle of the action and you'll get left behind. The trick with girls her age and very often older women too, is to keep it to just you two until you've developed a close enough bond and desire for each other that when you are around other people you do so as a couple and not just a couple of people who are kind of seeing each other.
As you saw it's far too easy for girls like her to find another guy shiny and attach herself to him during any activity.
Dating is awesome, but not always easy. You just don't let this bother you, you take the lessons from it into the future and you don't repeat the same mistakes. No co-workers and as much alone time as possible before you start hanging out in groups.
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