A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello.I will make it as short as possible.I am baffled as to why my ex (Who is the dumper) constantly looks away in emotional pain. (I rejected her offer of remaining friends, as I just didn't want to feel depressed/suicidal anymore.).Anyways, so, how come she just looks away from me, on purpose, when she did the first wrong (Lying about breaking up)? From the moment that I caught on of the lie, I had trouble feeling trust, for her.So, that's another part of my reasoning of rejecting her friendship. Here's how I feel she thinks when I look in her eyes. A lot of emotional pain, probably with the urge to physically hurt me, and that she's going to burst out crying if I stick around her any longer. So, I leave her behind.But, the thing is, why would she be too emotional to look at me, when it's been, like, almost a year, now, since I've told her I didn't want to be in her life, any longer?Thanks, in advance.-Charles.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2012): Seems like it's probably a tactic she's using to confuse me. However, I'll try to pretend that she isn't around. I wonder, if I do this, however, what should I expect?
Should I expect her to get her new guy to beat me up for ignoring her? Or, should I expect her to attempt to get my attention?
Also, last question. Has anyone had a situation like I have, and tried it? If so, were the results desirable?
I appreciate it. I really hope she feels just how wrong she performed the breaking up deed.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2012): I had to really get her to tell me (With lots of persistence) to reveal why she dumped me. Let's just say, she concealed so much info, that's a reason why I feel the same way.... staying friends with her is NOT good. I sure felt like her friendship was just a draining 1-sided thing. I couldn't shower her with any affection, and, also, I didn't feel any sastisfaction from what I had with her.
Eventually, I had 1 last card to play, in order to feel in control, again. And, I just "Dumped" her as a friend. (In other words, I fought fire with fire.).
I hope I didn't do an asshole thing. But, yeah. I think that since it was for my personal needs, it HAD to be done. Otherwise, I think I'd still be depressed/suicidal/going insane. But, yeah. Ever since the day I told her I couldn't stand it, anymore, I have felt more and more in control.
I guess it's a variety of possibilities. I may never really know what the correct answer is, for her behavior. Oh, well.
Heh.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (2 April 2012):
 She is messed up over the break up? That would be my guess. Or she is still blaming you for everything that went wrong instead of owning her own actions. It's always easier to be mad at the other party then admit that you (general you) screwed up.
I think NOT trying to stay friend is the wisest. I would try and avoid her as much as possible and definitely not have contact, she needs to get over it herself, just like you will have to work on getting over it all by yourself.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2012): maybe you hurt her really badly first to cause her to want to dump you, that's why when she looks at you she sees all the reasons why she dumped you.
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