A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My BF broke up with me months ago on Halloween. Even though HE ended it, he is the one who is hostile. We just cannot seem to ever reach peace. He would contact me and it always starts good and nice, then ends really dramatic. We'll have good conversation, then he'll make comments about how he does not want to get back together. Says that he does not want that right now. Or he just starts weirdly mean and will say that he "does not care" about anything regarding us. He always gets upset that I will not be friends with him. I do miss him very bad. So last time after we talked on the phone, and he got mad about us not being friends, I texted and asked if we could just start over...not put a friend label on it. His response was dramatic...that if I contacted him again that he would change his number. He has blocked me on FB too. I am unsure as to why his response is always overly hostile! It makes me feel like I have done something wrong. I am not sure what I did. I didn't break up with him, he broke up with me.Why is he so hostile? I leave the town we're both in for good in a few weeks. It would have been nice to leave having peace with him, but I cannot contact him or he flips out!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2013): Xearo! I am the writer of this question.
I think you are right, all the same I told him the minute he broke up with me that I would not be his friend afterwards because I still had feelings for him. So I do not understand why he kept coming back and getting mad. I told him several times that I was not going to be his friend. The dude knew the day he wanted to propose to me, yet he wants me to sit around and act like none of that ever happened? I know realistically that I could not probably perform in a friendship without getting feelings so I just honestly told him that
A
male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (2 April 2013):
Having read this I feel like there are some things you are leaving out or it is easy for people to misunderstand the situation. It sounds like he wants to just be friends, and has made that point clear to you since the day he broke up with you. You know this yet you end up asking him to start over a relationship. It does seem like he cares about you but you just won't listen to his feelings at all. I am sure he gets mad the most at himself because even though he cares about you to come back to initiate conversation with you, he ends up in the same situation he left. Is it really that strange he is hostile? I mean, you don't seem to listen at all that he just wants to be friends.
Either way, lets the facts down. He doesn't want to be with you. Accept this else you will never move on, but it is your choice to move on or not. Begging him to start over will also not get him back. He seems to have some issues to deal with. Believe it or not, you having one sided feelings for him is actually stressful to the other person. It will only push him away and stress the both of you out, the more you pursue it. You need to get over him, find someone new in your life perhaps.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (1 April 2013):
 Sometimes people who feel guilt take it out on the person they feel guilty about. Who knows? He sounds really awful. I would let the blocks stand and if he contacts you again, don't respond.
You don't owe him anything at all. Time to draw your boundaries and not let thoughts about 'what if?' and 'why?' continue to torment you.
He's not capable of being a friend, it's clear, so don't let him guilt you into anything or play on your weakness for him.
Cut the ties. Make your own closure, conduct a ritual expunging of him from your life. A little ceremonial burning of anything related to him and a good night in with girlfriends and some breaking up music and movies will help you come to your own closure.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (1 April 2013):
 "Peace" with an ex means no contact. Leave him alone! Don't be friends, don't pursue him for a nice relationship, or anything. Let him go. Drop him. Leave him alone. End all contact. The idea of "ex" is to move on with your life away from him. You don't "stay friends" with an ex.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (1 April 2013):
 Explain to me why you want to be friends with an ex anyway?
they are an ex for a reason.
just accept it's over and done and move on.
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