A
female
age
36-40,
*alcyondays714
writes:OK, I've posted a couple questions about my ex in the past but new drama with him seems to form every week. I will give a quick run-through. We dated for 7 months, but he broke it off via text messaging while I was at college, saying he was moving south in a month. He never moved and now that I'm back home, we both work at the same place.We both were at a Xmas part a couple weeks back and I never spoke with him at the party and had a good time, but then he contacted me through a friend after the party about an inconsequential matter. I ended up texting him a little bit and that was that.He wished me a Merry Christmas and I made sure to do the same out of being polite.This past week was the first time we would have to see each other at work since we broke up (my manager had been trying to schedule our shifts so we never saw each other, but this time I was leaving work when he was starting). I didn't talk to him at all and just went about my business when at one point we crossed paths and he asked me how I was doing all friendly-like. I wouldn't look at him but said I was doing good and asked how he was, he responded, then I walked away.Later that day, I found out he was talking to one of our co-workers saying how I was giving him the cold shoulder when he came in early to work and said hi and how I just mumbled something and walked away. I was surprised that he said anything about it because from what I hear, he doesn't talk about the break-up at all. I had to see him again the next day and he made a comment to me about how it was cold outside and I basically said yeah and walked away.I found out today that on New Year's Eve, he ran into my sister at one point, saying how I hated him, I hated him so much and how I wouldn't talk to him and when he tries to talk to me I just mumble something and walk away. He said how he didn't go to one of our mutual friend's party because he knew I would be there and didn't want to make it awkward (same night as when he contacted me through a friend) and how he tried to wish me a Merry Christmas, but he doesn't know what to do. My sister told him she didn't know what to say to him and said how he screwed up and he agreed. She asked him if he wished me a happy new year and he said he didn't because he was scared to. My sister told him how she didn't know what to tell him then left.I don't hate him, but I don't know why he cares so much. He was the one who dumped me and did it very poorly, not the other way around. I have the right to be mad at him. But I don't understand why he has been trying to talk to me and send me messages and talk to everyone about how I supposedly hate him. I don't know what to do, I don't understand him. I'm not over him which is why it is so hard to talk to him, but is he just upset because we aren't all buddy buddy or is he regretting what he did? Any ideas anyone, I would really appreciate it, this whole situation is so frustrating to me and the drama is never ending :(
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female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (4 January 2010):
The drama never ends because neither one of you allow it to end. Since you're not over him, you're not letting things go. In reality, if you wanted the drama to end and to not bother with him anymore you would ignore what he says about you "hating him" (oh boo hoo for him, tell him to grow a pair) and you would ignore his text messages and as far as when he talks to you; what you're doing is fine. You're not being rude, but he was a jerk and you don't need to go around kissing his ass just because he asks you how you are and wishes you a Merry Christmas.
Don't worry about it and don't think about it. He's just throwing a pity party because you're not begging for him to come back to you. Personally, I think you're better off without him and you actually have more control over the situation than you think. Ignore him! Ignore the stupid remarks and comments he makes to others and ignore his texts. Respond to him to be cordial when he talks to you; otherwise, you have no reason to talk to him unless you want the drama to continue. He'll give up eventually when he sees that you REALLY don't care!
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