A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Theres this guy I am seeing and I am not too sure about what exactly he wants. I met him over a year ago at school. We didn't start to hang out and 'date' until 5 months later. My two previous relationships have been bad and I didn't feel like being played again. So I initially didn't want anything to do with dating him. His persistance paid off and I eventually let him take me out. We went to the movies a lot, hung out at my place one on one, laughed together and he made me feel really special. He gave me roses and did really sweet things. About two months after we started going out, I had sex with him and even after the sex we still saw each other and nothing changed. About three months after havings sex with him, he told me that it would not be a good idea for me to see him anymore. He didnt want to feel obligated to go out with me, call me back and he wanted to see other women and meet new people. He was also afraid that he would fall in love and he didn't want to fall in love. It was hard for me to deal with, I often asked then why would you be so persistent to date me, send me nice stuff and be romantic if you didn't want anything out of it or just wanted me as a sex buddy or one of your women?I let him go and we didnt speak or talk to each other for over a month. The one day, he called and told me that he missed me and wanted to come and visit. I let him come over my place, and he told me he missed me so much and it felt so good to hold me. Like always, we shared laughs and talked about funny stuff and it lead to sex. He told me he missed my silliness and everything about me. When he speaks to me, even when sex isnt possible, he always has a smile on his face and makes eye contact with me. I can tell in his face that he enjoys talking to me. Things went back to the way they were, he would sometime call me at night just to talk (no phone sex) and if he saw me in the library at school he would pull my hair wave to me and say hi. We still went out, the only thing, I had to pay for everything all the time. I initially didn't have a problem with it, as in the past he would sometimes pay, we would split or I would pay, but it was very even. Not anymore. I had paid the last three times we went out and I didn't want him to slack in this area. If we are not dating, we should just keep it simple and pay for our own stuff. But I never mentioned that to him, as I loved to make him happy. Other than that, he respected me, told me nice things and really did care about me. When we went out, he would treat me like his girlfriend in public. He would hug me, kiss me, and hold my hand at the movies and put his arm around my shoulder. A close friend of mine committed suicide and he called me every day following it for the next three days into the weekend to make sure I was okay, as he was really worried about me. He also knows I suffer from mental illness and have been hospitalized twice in the past for it. But it does not seem to effect our 'relationship.' I had a meltdown due to my illness twice in my presence and both times he just hugged me and told me that I will always have him as a friend.However, I know he still sees and dates other women. I am okay with that, I enjoy his company and I really think he enjoys mine. At the same time, when he gets annoyed with me as I bug him about not calling me back he and he would say he didn't want to feel obligated to do anything with me, I can be embarrassing and he says he dates other people. But yet the next day, he will still approach me and talk to me or answer the phone willingly when I called. I know he was angry when he said that, and I forgive him. I would really like to be his girlfriend, I can tell that we have good chemistry as I can tell when we talk, and hang out together as well as during sex. I feel totally comfortable around him and we talk about the weirdest stuff. He often tells me how lucky he is to have me and tells me how pretty I am. Yet he does not want a relationship. I am hoping I can take his heart. We have had the getting to know you talks, I know what he likes, he knows what I like but I feel that we are in a grey area. Why does he want to see other women if he is seeing someone that makes him happy? And why if he didn't want to see me anymore, why did he go back saying he missed me so much? I don't think I am his doormat, as he is too nice to me for that, why would he deal with a crazy girl for so long if she was only a fuck buddy? Do you think he may have feelings for me but doesnt really want to admit it? He is really confusing. I am just curious what you guys think about this situation.Thank you for being patient and reading this book. I know it was long.
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