A
female
age
36-40,
*earAlice
writes:OMG!!! my cousin fucked up my life!!!! she wrote to one of his friends under my profile (she has it to spy on her husband cuz hes my friend) and now he thinks i'm being a stalker!!!! LoookHIM:you have got some fucking balls you know that, i can't believe that you'd have the nerve to say what you did. you fucking wish there was and or is someone else, that way you could somehow spin it around on me. no matter how you twist the question around or try to look at the situation... IT WAS YOUR FAULT AND CHOICE THAT YOU LEFT ME and NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND!!!!!! and before you further go on assuming that I just fell out of love in a couple of hours, get your shit straight! all I ever said was that I can't forgive you for what you said and did that day. nothing about love other than YOU THREW IT OUT THE WINDOW! so please dont try to have any of my friends spy on me or get any answers cause I have explained myself again and again. ME;What the he'll are you talking about?? I never asked your friends anything... I didn't do it when we were together so what makes you think I'd do it now.. ESP your friends. I thought you knew new me hunny, if I wanted to find something out I would most definitely not ask YOUR friends... Look you told me to leave you alone and I have I haven't messaged you or nothin. As much as I miss you I have to respect the fact that you will never be with me.... Though I wish it could be differing. ( wishful thinking won't get me anywhere) Though I was shown a video of you slapping a girl in the butt the other day by angel.... Like I said I understand and have to reap what I've sown. Thank you for the memories.Love ALWAYS, Desire HIM;sure, if you say so.don't tell me that you wish things could be different or mention wishful thinking, cause like you said you gotta reap this.and for the video, some friends and I were drunk and joking around. but it's good to know that people are watching out for me and making it a point to report it to you.No, thank you for the memories and for ripping my world apart. For showing me just how truiy different you could be ME:Look ACE I didn't want to see that shit ok so please. You can't tell me not to have wishful thinking. You have been in my life for a long fucking time so don't be a jerk just because I'm being honest with you.You can't blame angel he didn't know about us.. I meant that sincerely, really thank you.Please stop, you and I fought over something stupid and I made a mistake in leaving. Your world wasn't the only one that got ripped apart ok... Obviously I wouldnt of begged you back if I didn't care....And about showing you who I am stuff...... Don't act like your an innocent perfect person who never did bad things to me. You can only blame me for so long.... I don't want to fight with you about who is wrong or rite because obviously Its not gonna get us anywhere. . HIM:i wish i knew what to believe here.. but i don't. all i can be certain of whats already happened. and the simple fact is that you left. it was bound to happen sooner or later. we both knew that it was coming. you just kept getting closer and closer to abandoning my heart, i expected but never hoped for it. ME:all i can say is sorry and tell you i've changed... nothing more..you know that i love you. it wasn't fake.... i cant force you to believe....please dont look down on me for something i'm obviously sorry for. yes i left and yes i freaked out but i think i've made it more than clear to you and everyone that i am sorry.you know i've been hurting and you know my pain, but i have to make myself believe... i have to force myself to give up..its hard.... and most days i cant.. but i have to, you said it yourself "leave me alone"i'm sorry for bugging you so much, really a am. i just couldn't let you go… but now I have to for my hearts own good.I don’t want to hear him telling me I’m the devil and that I deserve being alone and heart broken…
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cousin, drunk, I love you Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, DearAlice +, writes (7 June 2010):
DearAlice is verified as being by the original poster of the question we broke up because of stupid reasons, i have never used PMS as an excuse because i never suffered form it but now i know it was so PMS. i snapped on him and said mean things and left his house. telling him i hate him right now.
the fight was lame and i try'd to say sorry but he wasnt having it. look i get it maybe he was using what i did as an excuse to brake up with me and it be my fault. but if that is truly the case then why would he keep telling me that its hard or making it seen as if he really cares. i mean i've literally stoped writing him and all that. my cousin was the one who stuck her nose in. and now he hates me.
let me go, but dont make it seem like i'm a monster because i did something wrong and i'm clearly sorry for it.
i know that we're not gonna be together anymore, its just hard letting go because i love him so much... you know i had this idea in my head that no matter what him and i went through we'd always have one another to fall back on.
i have to get over it... i just wish i could take it all back.
A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (6 June 2010):
 No, it's probably more of the same anger thing.. what would be interesting is to know why you left him in the first place.
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A
female
reader, DearAlice +, writes (5 June 2010):
DearAlice is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthe conversation whent on after words... let me know if you guys wanna read that.
i really am trying to leave him alone just like he asked me... i am.
i have try'd everything and still nothing... so i had to give up. and now that i'm giving up and listening hes still saying things. its on the other messages. let me know if you want to read them.
thank you everyone for your help.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (5 June 2010):
 Take a break. Don't read or answer his mail. After sometime you will have a different perspective of the situation.You will see more clearly after the break.
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (5 June 2010):
Yea.. me too sooner, this seems like one of them relationships that should be able to be saved. Things are raw at the moment, so I think it's best to stay away...
Here's a good article with several ideas on how to possibly regain a man's interest if the love is already there.. http://www.dearcupid.org/question/using-male-psychology-to-win-him-back.html
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A
female
reader, DearAlice +, writes (5 June 2010):
DearAlice is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI am trying to leave him alone. Just like he asked and I have took the blame for everything even if I didn't do it. I've said sorry I've cryer and yet he still responds, he still writes.. I just want him to stop.... I can't keep hearing that he doesn't want to be with me. I heard it already I have excepted it and I need to heal. My heart is broken
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2010): I told him that I'm sorry, I left him alone, I'm trying to forget and heal but he is making this very hard... I love him, we've been together for 2 years but it's just not gonna work out like this. I've made myself beleive that it's over and he doesn't want me back but when he writes shot like I have to try hard not to run back to you everyday" it doesn't make me beleive that it's over. I don't want mind games and I don't want to cry. But he knows I'll forgive him 100 times. I just think it's not fair he won't forgive me.... I just need to let go :(
By the way I'm the one who wrote this. My window was acting up.
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A
female
reader, raiders +, writes (4 June 2010):
 Wow, sorry you guys are going through this. It sounds like you both have strong feelings for each other still. Neither one of you is willing to cave in and it makes perfect sense, you both have crossed that line. Once you cross the line of disrespect and shouting and consent fighting, unless handle with care the breakup is expected.
I read it twice and I only got that he loves you and wants you to leave him alone since you broke his heart. Your saying that you made a mistake but you guys had to break up, but now your are sorry. I really didn't get the part where he is telling you or describing you as the devil and have to be alone. He is simply asking for his space.
I wish you two luck and hope you two can move on. If you think I misread or did not understand something you are more than welcome to correct me. Take care!
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (4 June 2010):
Sigh.. facebook right??? or Myspace?? sigh
Guy loved you, you loved him... now you is finding reasons to stay in contact and argue like little kids.. All you is doing is piling up more pain and resentments and pushing him further away.
You report as 22-25years old and currently living in the USA. GROW UP!!!! The guy doesn't hate you, he would have deleted you if he did. Don't know what went wrong, but this arguing thing has got to stop.
Make sure your sister can't use your account. Now that's downright stupid to let her do that.
Write the guy back a proper letter, don't MSN/Facebook it.. send it by snailmail letter post (a pretty card would be nice)or email. In it, you write your apologies for the misunderstandings, tell him your sister was mucking around. Thank him for the love you both shared, tell him you are glad he has been in your life because of the things you've learnt. If you can't stay in touch, then tell him it hurts to much. If you want him back, then tell him you miss him.
But please stop all this noise and drama... you both are shitting over what sounds like a very passionate love affair, and that is downright sad.
In a relationship there is three objects, each wanting different things. One is you, your hopes, your desires, your feelings. One is him, with his hopes, desires and feelings.. The other is the relationship itself, a combination of you and him together. At the moment, you and him are acting like children and hurting the relationship. Calm down, and try to talk to him like an adult, who once was a close beloved friend.
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