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Why does he keep our relationship a secret?

Tagged as: Dating, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (26 April 2010) 7 Answers - (Newest, 26 April 2010)
A female United States age 30-35, *iger14 writes:

So me and my bf have been dating for 2 months officially we have known each other for 5 months. After everythin is official with us he has changed. I feel like I'm not the only person he is with and he has a bigg issue changing his relationship status on facebook. He didn't iintroduce me as his girlfriend twice to some friends we have seen around and this facebook thing is really getting to me is there somethin wrong with me or is there somethin I should be worried about. I've asked him why he doesn't change it and he tells me that he doesn't want his personal life out there, and that his people know I am his girlfriend. Hellpp I don't know if I should just end this now or give it a try

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A female reader, Tiger14 United States +, writes (26 April 2010):

Tiger14 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Tiger14 agony auntKatrina ur right that was his first reason to why he didn't change it he said when we are together for like 6 months we will. We have spoken bout it he did end up changin it but he recently changed it back to none and it bothers me but maybe I should just leave him alone n see what happens cause if I speak to him I don't think anything nice will be coming out of my mouth

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A female reader, GettingHelp South Africa +, writes (26 April 2010):

I understand about where charley999's bf is coming from, and i totally understand not having people in your relationship. My bf is quite shy and doesn't want people in our relationship but when I talked to him about it, he went into FB and changed his status. I feel more secure now (pathetic maybe but I don't think so)

It's great that his family knows, and I think that is a big step and very important, but I think you really need to talk to him about it and find out what his REAL reasons are... Good luck

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A female reader, - katrina ? United Kingdom +, writes (26 April 2010):

- katrina ? agony aunti was in a situation like this too. facebook causes so many problems for people these days! look at it like this, you have known this guy for a whole of 5 months? thats nothing in reality love! if he didnt tell his friends about you twice then its clear he doesnt want them to know about you. on the other hand about this whole facebook situation, youve only been dating for a couple of months, maybe he isnt ready to write it all over the internet.. he may just want to wait till he thinks you too are serious before he tells the whole world? i think you shoud giv it a try! but do not rush anything

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A female reader, Tiger14 United States +, writes (26 April 2010):

Tiger14 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Tiger14 agony auntSee I don't know if he is doing it because he's messing or wants to with other but his family does know about me. Even though I feel like he is hiding us his family cousins and best friend know about me so I don't understand why he's doing this facebook drama.

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A female reader, charley999 United Kingdom +, writes (26 April 2010):

ah i have this with my partner he lives with me and my children also he wont change his relationship status either but he says in regards to facebook the more ppl that know on there the more they try to get involved its our relationship no1 elses so why broadcast it ? ive got used to it now but it does make u worry and not feel good enough although if wer seen out ppl know wer together but he wont openly tell every1 talk to him b4 u decide what to do he may have a reason :) best of luck

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A female reader, GettingHelp South Africa +, writes (26 April 2010):

I know how you feel, and i think it is legitimate to feel like you're not the only one.

I would sit him down and talk to him about it and if his actions don't change sharpish, then you don't need a playa in your life

Explain to him how important it is to you for him to be proud of your relationship together and if he won't display that pride then he must surely be ashamed and you don't want to be in a relationship with someone who is ashamed of you.

I don't think he is REALLY ashamed of you, i think he's cheating but if you explain it like that he might see it in a different way.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2010):

Why would a guy not want people to know you're his girlfriend unless he's got something to hide.... sounds fishy to me... think about it... if my boyfriend of 1 year doesn't intorduce me as his girlfriend that would be a fight on my block... my opinion is He's cheating or embarassed to be seen with you or he simply just doesn't want people to know but I would sit and talk 2 him about it but if it doesn't change then I would be thinking about breaking up seriously he needs to stop playing these kid games.... good luck

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