A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have a male friend who i have been getting close to the last couple of months. We talk almost every day texting and have kissed a few times. Kind of like a slow burner which is ok.However something that is bothering me is that he keeps joking about me being with other fellas as in ending up with a certain fella or sleeping with another fella.....or that a certain fella would be suitable for me....Why do fellas do this or why is he doing it?Is he trying to let me know that we will not be exclusive together and that i can see other fellas too or is he testing me to see what my response would be to see how i feel about him? Very confusing...
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female
reader, R1 +, writes (25 March 2013):
 I think it could be either of the options you suggested. It depends how he says it and what he's like other than that. Maybe he can't commit or maybe he's scared you don't like him.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2013): I am a young man in his twenties and I have been in four long term relationships since I have been 18. I have never ever talked about my girlfriends behind their backs to my friends. All of my girlfriends other than my last one were attractive and smart but never let you know it. As with most men like me, I stood a lot to lose by flapping my gums about past relationships and their personal intimacies with other men. I didn't care and let me tell you I wouldn't let any of my male friends near them. I was and still am a good dancer when my buddies tried to butt in a steal a dance they were so bad that my girlfriend would come and get me from the sidelines and take me back out onto the floor. I believe there is some insecurity and mistrust here and he might even be trying to hurt you. I don't know why but please be careful. There could be a mean something In him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2013): "Why do fellas do this or why is he doing it?"
My opinion because they're pussies who can't seal the deal so they need the woman to, and hope that by prying, hinting, making jokes about other guys they can push her in that direction. You know, so they figure out he's "jealous" and think that's cute and romantic.
He could be just playing you too though OP, this kind of passive/aggressive game playing dating style can be a red flag too. He may not be all that interested in you OP, which may be why he hasn't made his move, and if that's the case he could be trying to slyly undermine any guy you talk to him about. Or ever so subtly make you feel embarrassed or foolish for having slept with a guy or dated someone.
Either way it's game playing and manipulation because he's either a coward who won't make his move until you make it clear it's on, or he's already trying to undermine how comfortable you feel about how you're currently dating people, enough to be convinced he's the one for you.
OP you may aswell play into his hands and ask him about it. Ask him why he's so interested in who you're dating. And watch him either try and blow it off with "I'm just interested" or something, or use it as his chance to make his move.
Or you could just have "the talk" and actually define what's going on here between you. Probably best to do just that.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2013): "or is he testing me to see what my response would be to see how i feel about him?"
That one.
Like me and I suspect other posters who answer this question, I suspect he's wondering how you feel about him as you've not given any indication to him or to us.
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